Fate Overdose

Call me crazy but while we are fresh from the topic of fate from yesterday’s entry and since I’m still bingeing on the TV series called “Frequency”, it’s only natural that a person like me would start relating everything around me to the possibility of these non-fiction plots applying to the reality around me. But, you can’t blame me for how it is such a co-incidence in what I discovered today.

It started off with my umbrella. I have this funky transparent umbrella and everyone who has seen it loves the umbrella. Since it has been raining heavily lately, I would always leave my umbrella inside this wet umbrella container at the entrance along with other umbrellas. For some reason, someone from work had taken my umbrella. One of my colleague once asked me if this umbrella was mine or someone else’s. Of course it was mine and I remember she actually said she had the exact same umbrella and someone took her umbrella as well. It’s something about these umbrella that has this karma of getting stolen by others at my workplace I guess.

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RIP umbrella

After work today, I met up my close friends for a seafood buffet. Now, I had no clue where this place was and I just wanted to eat some buffet with my friends on a Friday night. But it so happened that I was here almost a year ago (last year June) in the same place for the same buffet. It was the same buffet but just with a different group of friends. I never noticed it was the same buffet, nor the same place, since I never gave it any thought to find out if I had actually been to this place.

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I know I might be exaggerating if I say this. But, what if the umbrellas like mine and my colleague’s was not meant to exist in the workplace. What if umbrellas like those were meant to be stolen? What if that seafood place kept calling me to go there even without me consciously knowing? What if I am meant to go there? Normally, one would never spend 70 dollars at a buffet they have gone before. I would if the food is good but then again, knowing myself, I would’ve liked to try some places else. But no! I just had to not care about where I was going tonight. I just had to keep having to be in the same place again.

Of course, these are all just co-incidence and I should not have made such a big deal out of this but with that mind about fate fresh out of the oven from overdosing on a TV series I am heavily drawn to, I guess it’s only normal for me to think of it this way. Don’t worry. I am not extremely freaked out or mindblown by this but it sure as hell feels good to connect these dots sometimes, although the connection never makes sense or is meant to make any sense.

Full Time Me

mar20It was just before I took the Friday off on the first week of this month that I realized that I was not a full time employee at my job. That’s just me actually. I would hear other people’s conversations that are not important. I would remember small things that don’t really matter. I would know details that does not really amount to anything but important details such as this I do not know of.

Last year around Christmas, my team leader at work was going on and on about how it’s important for all of us to give our annual leaves dates earlier. To this, I just ignored and thought of just accumulating for next year since my mom won’t be in Myanmar this year. Little do I know that I am not accustomed to paid annual leave. In fact, I could take as many day offs as I want but I will not be paid for it.

Adele’s concert was on during the first Friday of this month and I took that day off. I remember my boss telling me that even though I am not entitled to be paid for taking that day off, they will still pay me since I had been staying back more hours. I really appreciate what my boss did but that was then that I got super confused about how I was actually not a full time employee at my job as yet. Then, I thought to myself how this could be just my probational phase and that I would still have to prove that I’m worth keeping during this phase.

My team leader asked me for a small meeting last Friday and that was then that I found out that I was actually still on temporary but now they would like to shift me to become a full timer. As for the probation, it would start only as of now. This has been one of the best news that I have heard in a very long time. This means I will just have to keep doing the best I can without having to fear that I do not belong at a place. This means I am going to be just like the other people. This all came to a good beginning as my boss placed a “full time employee” contract on my cubicle desk as I was talking with a customer today.

Magic might

Do you believe in magic? I have always been fascinated by the mystery behind some certain things in our lives. And by magic, I am not talking about the bunny in the hat by a moustached man with good suits. I am referring to the magic of life. What actually surrounds us is indeed a mystery but as my colleague and friend has mentioned before, “Once we pay attention to it, we will find it”

For some reason, while talking with my colleague today, she asked me when my date of birth was. This is the colleague who started work with me. We are of different age group and interests but there is a mutual understanding between us but after what happened today, I feel closer to her than I usually am.

jan20When I told her when my birthday was, she froze. There was no expression on her face and she just stared blankly at me. She did not utter anything for a good period amount of time and I was confused. What was happening here? Did I offend her? What have I said? Then, she said “That is my mom’s birthday too”. I could see tears welling up her eyes and I was still confused at why this was not a good thing.

I do know of her not having her mom anymore in this life but I did not really know why there was this really awkward silence for a while. In contrast, I suddenly felt this semi-euphoric pleasure inside my bones. It just so happened that at that moment when I learnt that I share the same date of birth with my colleague’s late mother, I suddenly felt this sense of serenity in me. I did not know why either.

It was after work when I received a message from her. My colleague is an artist, a creative one and a very good one at what she does. She ace so well at arts and craft and she has always been ever modest about her work. Although I do not talk much with her, I have always enjoyed looking at those things she paint. In addition to her creative mindset, she also believes in spirituality. Positive energy and universe are her sort of things. I might not be heavily indulged by it but I do admire spirituality and I respect those people who practices it.

So, her message was about how she had always asked her mother to give her a sign and somehow after two months of getting to know me, the guy who she started work with and the guy who she was somehow diplomatically made to be friends with since we only got each other as newbies, today has been pretty much the day where that sign has finally emerged in her life.

If her mom’s way of showing a sign to her daughter, from wherever she is at this stage, was to let her daughter’s colleague have the same birth date as her, I have to admit creativity does run in her family. It might be a co-incident but I am sold that my birth date, matching her late mom’s, is a sign that her mom is up there still with her daughter. Maybe I am that catalyst or that message in a bottle for her daughter to know that even though the mother is not in this life anymore, she would always find ways to communicate or to notify her daughter that she is around.

When my colleague told me that, I could not help feeling so empathetic and very happy in the most honorable way. And for some reason, it somehow did bring me closer to my colleague. And seriously, what were the odds that my colleague at work, out of nowhere, suddenly asked my date of birth today. Well, it was caused by getting birthday cake fed because someone was celebrating his birthday on level 2 of our office. But still, it’s amazing how things work.

So, yeah. I can’t stop feeling so happy for my colleague. Now she is reminded how her mom is there with her. She mentioned she cried happy tears and I am just honored that I get to be part of this ‘magic’ moment of her life.

Nice pants

Call me old fashioned but I do not see anything normal about one of the only two guys in a room saying “Nice pants” as the first sentence to the other guy. Especially when the person who said it is supposedly straight.

My gaydar is so bad that I have always given any guys the benefit of the doubt when it comes to guessing if they are gay or not. Especially to those men that I’m attracted to, I would always assume they were straight. Why?? Well, if they’re straight, I can feel good about having guessed it right and if they’re not, I can still be happy that there’s a chance for me to be able to do something with him if things work.

I am still two months old at my job and I have started working there during Christmas time. So, I am not really that familiar with everyone in the office. I do know a fair amount of people at work but that does not really mean I would be able to tell who’s new or not. Especially when I started seeing this pretty cute guy from the logistic team.

First of all, he is not that super cute but he is definitely someone who can rock my boat, if you know what I mean. He has that angular face like David Bowie and blonde hair. His eyes look pretty skully and not really to my liking but the overall package is definitely a good average for my perve-o-meter. And he seems to have this really good nature/personality.

He and I usually end up taking breaks at the same time. Since I work in the customer service department, my breaks are scheduled and I do have to take breaks during certain period of the day. Since my break is at 2 pm, there will not be a lot of people in the room but me and him. He does not talk much, unless he has to ask if I were watching anything on TV in our work kitchen; he’s always watching TV during break time.

Like I’ve said, he’s not someone I would totally go hard for but he’s also someone I would not mind being around. He rarely talks to me and since I’m not a big fan of awkward silence, I would always be the first to break the silence.

Logistics team has to wear these safety yellow vests and I have never seen him in his usual casual self until last week. My cubicle faces a large window and I spotted him going to his car at the car park in a bright pink shirt. I might be old fashioned but EVERY men wears pink shirt lately and chicks dig guys in pink shirts. So, that doesn’t really make me wonder.

However, today, as I was just being busy with my iPhone in the kitchen during break time, I was surprised when he finally said something to me. Like a parent of the baby, whose first words were obscene, he caught me by surprise when his first words were “Nice pants”, after he looked down at my pants.

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I’m sure it does not really symbolize anything but can anyone tell me which alpha straight male or a simple straight male compliments another bro on his pants, especially as the first thing to say. I was not moved, I was not offended and I had nothing to feel or think about but it sure makes me think. And this dude is also not someone who looks like he has any interest in fashion either.

Yes, call me old fashioned but I still find it a bit abnormal for a straight guy to compliment about a pair of pants as the first thing when bumping into another guy.