I was glad I went to the wedding last night. First of all, it was great to see my uni buddy progress to another phase in his life and his wife is a lovely girl. It was also good to see some of my uni friends there as well. I guess it’s best to have a balance of types of people that surrounds me. It was an intimate 17 people wedding dinner. It might sound a bit weird but it was what was needed. Few close friends who could just catch up and talk to each other about almost anything.
Of all the conversations I had, this one conversation with this guy, who is a good friend of the bridegroom, really blew my mind. We were talking about cheating in general, when he mentioned about what happened to him during high school. So, he was dating a girl and one day, he went to a play with another girl. They held hands for twenty minutes and the next day, he had to break up with his girlfriend because he felt guilty.
First of all, this shows a lot about this guy. I have this sudden respect for him since he did what he felt like he needed to do. Yes, it might seem selfish to decide to break up but then, he’s honest enough to not leave his girlfriend hanging on whilst he had a moment with this other girl, the girl he held hands with for twenty minutes. Well, the fact that he was honest is not the point of this blog entry here but the fact that he felt guilty after he just held the hands of this other girl.
He has a good point there. As much as we all get jealous with our significant others over sex with others and as much as I think I wouldn’t mind my partner holding hands with another guy, come to think of it, I do think it’s worse to hold hands with another guy than having sex with another guy.
Sex, despite the intimacy, can be a usage. It can be of a casual recreational activity between two adults, who can agree to not let anything other than physical attractions get into each other’s hand. If you play the cards right, if you have nothing to do with that person other than sex, it’s quite acceptable. I do not encourage it but it’s forgivable. Sex with friends is not cool though since you are already emotionally attached with that person.
On the other hand, the act of holding hand is made up of so much elements. It’s a thing you would do after you have broken ample layers of ice between each other. It’s a thing you get out of comfort. It’s a thing you get when you have found your way out of the awkward stage with someone you barely know, or even someone you know. It’s an act of comfort and that comfort level is much more stronger than sex.
It completely blew my mind actually. I have never thought about it that way. Having sex is easy with anyone, when compared to holding hands intimately with someone. While it seems like a trophy thing to get to bone others, I dare say it would be much more difficult to find that confidence to hold someone’s hand for twenty minutes. Once you get that confidence, there’s a thin line, over which you can cross to consider yourselves as something ‘more than friends’.
So yeah, after this conversation I had with this friend of mine, I would hope my partner or fiance-to-be will not ending holding the hand of someone else for more than twenty minutes. What do you think?
Dream from last night : I was peeing into this toilet that looks like there’s a washing machine connected to it from the top. Instead of aiming my pee at the bowl, I aimed it higher and my pee got into these clothes inside the washing machine above it. I don’t know why but I had the feeling (in my dream) that these were the clothes of my grandparents. I felt guilty as I peed into them and I had no idea why I did what I did. Also, I was in a house which I had no idea whose of and the toilet was so small I could just fit in standing up to pee.