My Soundtrack (March 2017)

Music influences my life and I always have this imaginative music at the background of my head for each and every minute of my life. Some songs healed me. Some songs cured me. Some songs moved me. Some songs gave me warmth. The following songs are the ten songs that had made it memorable for this month, with the reasons why, in no particular order.

Adele – I Miss You
It’s true what they say about how live music sounds so much better for other songs. This month, I was fortunate enough to be able to see Adele live. To be honest, I did not really like 25 album much but after seeing her perform live, I began to really like the songs in that album. I remember hating this song with the long intro but I guess this is one of my recent favorite now. Image result for adele 25
La Bouche – Be My Lover
I normally do not like to go to the DJ in clubs to ask for songs. Especially this song but BroJ00 and I have had this dance once where I realized this was one of the songs that he could sing to. (normally he does not know the songs I know) So I was surprised when he knows this song. Even better! I actually asked the DJ to play this song this time round. Related image
Enschway & Graves – Vulnerable
This month, not only marks the first time I have been to a trap gig, but also the first time I injure my nose until it bleeds dramatically on the dancefloor. It just so happens that it was Enschway’s gig. As much as I love this guy’s work, I did not have that much time to enjoy his whole set since I got injured halfway through his set. Image result for enschway vulnerable
Bahamas – Lost In The Light
I do admit that there has been so much ups and downs in my life, I still feel so lost. I feel like I have not reached the point in life where I feel ok with the things around me. As much as I have so much light shone on me, it seems like I’m still lost. Related image
Dashboard Confessional – Several Ways To Die Trying
No, I am not this depressed and I do believe that this song, despite the name of the song, is not that depressing. I remember this song back in 2004 when this gay friend of mine in the States sent this song to me online. I did not like it at first but everytime I listen to it, it makes me feel so nostalgic. Image result for dashboard confessional die trying
Butch Walker – Take Tomorrow (One Day At A Time)
When things start to overwhelm me a lot, like this month does, I guess it’s always a slap in the face to take one day at a time. Busy days at work, the uncertainty with guys I met and the inability to save money. It does get to me at times and I have to remind myself of this. Image result for butch walker left and self
Joni Mitchell – A Case Of You
I just wish one day I’ll be able to love someone this much. It seems like I’m constantly in fear of whether they will be there for me or if they’ll love me back. I wish I could drink a case of someone and still be on my feet. Image result for joni mitchell a case of you
Raspberries – Go All The Way
I love songs like these and melodies like these or The Beach Boys! I think I’m one of those people who died when The Beach Boys and these melodic songs were popular hahaha Image result for raspberries go all the way
Parekh & Singh – I Love You Baby, I Love You Doll
I actually found this group through the radio but I fell in love with them instantly. Apparently they are from Calcutta, but their music is produced in England. This music has put me in such a crazy peaceful mood at crazy times this month. Image result for Parekh & Singh - I Love You Baby, I Love You Doll
Blackberry Smoke – Up The Road
I guess my choice of songs are a bit depressing this month. I guess I am feeling a bit lonely this month. It’s always because there is a potential someone lurking around the corner. It’s true what Ben Folds Five says “Now that I have found someone, I’m feeling more alone”. And this song says it all as well “Things ain’t always better… up the road” Image result for blackberry smoke the whippoorwill

Convicting Feliny

SaltNPepa has been out of the picture for a while and I did not really get any messages from him during the week. Well, I do respect people for being busy and not being able to prioritize other things in their lives. Since the weekend was here, I finally negotiated with my ego to get myself to message SaltNPepa on Friday. We decided to meet this Sunday, which was today. To be exact, we decided to meet up for lunch near his place.

Of course, being the super thinker as I am, I have prepared myself for a potential dessert with this man, which I would not mind. And by dessert, I do not mean the sweet kind we put in or mouth (unless we define tastes of males genitals as sweet). And I kinda chose the place near him since I do not have the power or motivation to clean my room.

And yes, when the day actually came. SaltNPepa cancelled. How dare he? Well, it seems like he’s one of those people who works during the weekends and fair enough. I do get it to be honest. When you come back from work and especially when you’re too tired, the last thing you want to do is pick outfits to impress others. Or get your ass out of bed to go for lunch with a guy you got the number from at Palms night club two Fridays ago.

I was not angry to be honest. A little bit annoyed although with my newly unbroken injured nose, I was not in any mood to get out of my comfortable bedroom. He said he had to run a few errands at his place today and at first he was aiming to meet later in the evening but he cancelled. Without waiting for his confirmation, I met up with BroJ00 for our usual weekend intoxicating rendezvous at toms rooftop bar.

SaltNPepa asked me if it was possible to meet during the week days. Well, to be honest, my work shifts are from 11am until 7 pm this week and it was just a bit impossible to be able to make that work. Since it would be nearing 9 pm by the time I reach the city after work, it was just a bit not really workable. Regardless, I just asked him to message me when he wants to meet.

I call this the ‘cat’ move. Cats, unlike dogs, have this tendency to be attracted more to people who do not give a shit about them. My sister is a cat lover and she had this cute Persian for three years and the cat actually tries so hard to get the attention of her husband, who normally does not really give a hoot about its existence. Whenever my sister’s hubby feels like petting the cat, the cat would be on his natural high with his eyes closed, leaning its body towards the hubby.

mar26

Just like the Persian, I’m gonna leave the ball in SaltNPepa‘s court. I do not think he deserves to be given any attention until he is ready to actually meet up with me. Until he actually could motivate himself to meet up with me. Yes, being busy is something we all get webbed into in our lives but making time is also something that should be doable regardless. So yeah, watch me meow away purr-fectly away from you, mr!

In the end, if things are meant to be between me and SaltNPepa, be it partnership, relationship, friendship or fuckbuddyship (if that’s a word), one should not have to try this hard. So yeah, the ball’s in his court and this cat needs to focus on other things to spend his nine lives on. Especially after meeting this awesome guy yesterday evening. But ah well, I’ll have to leave the story about this guy for another day.

Dream Master

This blog entry starts with a message from one of my online friends. Now, we have never met since he’s in another part of Australia but we have had good chats and he has sent me two new undies, two packets of pancake mix and shampoos and moisturizers to me after he got back from Hawaii, which, to me, was a cute gesture. I somewhat feel a connection with him and since we have chatted on the phone before, it’s not like he’s some online creep. So, this was his message.

mar18

My life does not rely on things like these but that does not mean I do not believe in these things. I’m quite open minded with things like these and as much as it sounded crazy, I still appreciate my friend from spending time to type these down. He said that out of concern. I had this in my mind but I did not really have these details on top of my head but the thing is. His dream DID COME TRUE. As freaky as it sounds, everything in there happened around me. Of course, some has to be taken in different contexts. So this is what happened.

According to my friend’s dream, the first thing was : “We went for ice cream, you pink, me green.”

The plan, today, was to watch the movie “Logan” with BroJ00 and to go for drinks with him after the movie. As much as I appreciate my friend’s message, as I have said earlier, I do not rely my life on it and I just decided that I would go out nonetheless. So, before the movie, I decided to go to one of my favorite Thai restaurants to have an early dinner. Noticing this place has my favorite crushed ice dessert, I ordered this.

mar18.2

It might not have been an ice cream but it’s crushed ice. It’s half green and half pink. As much as one would say how the dream sequence might have been circulating in the sub-conscious part of my head, I swear to God I did not really read my friend’s message in details. Plus, I even forgot about the part that we ordered ice cream, let alone remembering the color.

The next line is : “A storm came in and you said let’s hide here and you ran in”

Well, it was raining in Sydney and my friend and I had to walk to the cinema in the rain. It was not a storm and it was a light drizzle but I remembered hopping in and out of shades with my friend on our way to the cinema.

Next : “I shouted after you to stop. It was a giant maze. there was a man in there and I could hear him firing a gun” This was followed by some lines as shown on the picture above, which was pretty much a work of my online friend’s fat fingers as he typed things that grammatically made no sense. But summarizing it, there were people with guns trying to shoot me and he shot back.

As my friend and I watched Logan, which was an awesome movie by the way, there was this one scene of a car chase into the corn maze. It was then that I remembered about this dream my friend said. A maze! Then, as I recalled the thing I ate and how it was pink and green, I started to notice how, in small dosages, my friend’s dream has become a bit of my reality!

mar18.3

The movie, itself, is of Wolverine saving this little kid/mutant, with a bad scientist and some killer gangs trailing him and the girl with guns. A lot of shootings!

Everything that happened today, although it was not exactly like the dream my friend was talking about, were those things that was in his dream. I literally saw everything that was in his dreams. As much as I did not want to rely my life on my friend’s dream, I was a wee bit concerned about continuing our post-movie drinking plan. After the movie, I asked my friend what we should both do. Given it was raining and given we were both tired, we both decided to call it a night.

So yeah, although it was not because of my friend’s dream, I felt a bit safer going home. For all it’s worth, be it true or not, it’s better to be safe than sorry. Although this can beĀ  just a major huge-ass trail of co-incidences between my reality and my friend’s dream, I could never doubt the wonders of those things around us. Those messages we cannot decipher. Those things that are unseen by us. Have we not been looking into them closely? How would one know? In all its beauty, ‘mystery’ always never fails to amaze me.

Non Play-Tonic

This has happened to me before and I cannot put a finger on it but I think I have a fear of being in a group. I do not mind crowds and people has said how much of an extrovert I am, although I beg to differ. However, I do not really like a ‘village’. What do I mean by ‘village’? It is just a group of people, more than five members, that could get supertight until things just revolve around each other. Nothing productive comes out of it and as much as there is a good sign of friendship among the group, it does ignite a spark of drama amongst the members.

Instead of going out last night to Arq, which I would normally do on a Friday to end up waking up with a bad hangover on the next Saturday morning, I woke up today to a sober Saturday morning with the pleasant notion that I am going to enjoy my day. I was meeting my bro-from-another-mo, BroJ00, a bisexual friend who I’ve met from Tinder and with whom the friendship has become more awesome and interesting given both of us have this awesome appreciation for “How I Met Your Mother”.

I took my friend to this place called MasterBowl in Chinatown. It’s this place where you tick all these things on a check list and all of these would be friend in a huge bowl with chilli; you can also choose your own chilli level. The cool thing about going out with this friend of mine to this type of restaurant is the fact that we both do not give a shit about what we pick but we just tick whatever we want. It ended up costing $96.00. From black fungus to duck’s gizzard, we just order whatever we think sounds delicious. It was worth it to be honest since we both ended up taking some leftover home. Before I blog on, you would appreciate the 96 dollars worth of food when the food looks as good as this.

jan28-1

BroJ00 and I were supposed to go see a movie after our lunch but we ended up walking around town. Sydney was celebrating Chinese New Year and it was worth walking around town looking at pop-up ambience decors. My friend then took me to this bar he once stumbled into tipsy. It was called The Republic and I have to admit it was a pretty good change to just have a seat in a straight bar, sipping on cool beer on a cruel cruel day.

So, the plan afterwards was to meet up with another friend of mine, who has the same name as one of the auditoriums in my uni back in my uni years. Now, this friend, MrAuditorium, is a guy I got to know from “Are You Interested” Facebook application years ago. We added each other on Facebook without having met since I was in Myanmar and he was in Australia. When I got back here, we met up but I was with my ex back then. So, nothing happened but for some reason, I feel pretty close to him. Although I am not too sure he would be my type, I do have a thing for him. It’s true what they say! Personalities do attract after all.

MrAuditorium does not really live in Sydney but he is currently taking sign language course, where he would have to come to Sydney once every week. I took him out for dinner, followed by a night out at Palms, another one of my favorite gay venues on Oxford Street. It was so good to see him again. This time around, I am single but to be honest, it kinda makes things a wee bit awkward. I did not know if I were supposed to do anything with him or expect anything with him.

Even though I really enjoy being out with MrAuditorium tonight, it was not really a good idea to tkae him to a gay venue. And it was also bad timing how there seemed to be a lot of good looking guys at Palms. Not only were there good looking guys but a few of them kinda made eye contact with me or smiled at me. I know I do not owe my friend any explanation and I could’ve just flirted with these guys but given I also flirt with this friend of mine and I was taking him out, I felt a bit guilty to be flirting with others.

BroJ00 joined us as well. He was worried he would be a third wheel to me and my friend. But, to be honest, I was glad he was there. I do not know how to explain it. BroJ00 and I always have good time when we go out. There was nothing awkward between us and it was just pure friendship. Whereas with MrAuditorium, I cannot really be myself around him since I do not really know whether I was playing a platonic card or the flirt cards with him.

Given MrAuditorium has an early class the next day, I had to leave Palms early at 1am. BroJ000 left as well, a bit disappointed the pub did not play his favorite La Bouche’s song. As much as I would like to stay on and flirt with those hot guys, I was glad I went home early. Given I could not get myself to be able to flirt with other guys while I have my other flirt-friend out with me, it was a bit of a suffer to just stand there and do nothing with these hot guys.