I felt the Earth move

Both my partner and I suck at surprises. We always intend to surprise each other quite often but before the actual date of that surprise, we just happen to give it away. No intentions but it always seems to work like that. Two days ago, Fransi came to me saying “What are you doing this Friday after work”, to which I have said nothing. He said “Perfect! I have just the right thing for you” Sorta killed me there since, as much as I love surprises, I always crave for what it really is.

dec22(2)Yesterday, he and I was excited for this surprise and then he uttered “I feel the Earth move” on our whatsapp and I got it right away that we were going to be seeing the musical about the songwriting guru Carole King called “Beautiful”. Yes, the surprise was ruined but I was excited because I love her work and as a songwriter, I would’ve liked to see that musical.

It was at The Star, next to the casino, a venue I have never seen any musicals at. The musical itself was really plain and simple. There was no tragic dramatic part. There were parts where things got a bit sad but it was not a trauma, nor something that was dwelled upon. But, me, being me, I cried at one of the parts.

When Carole King character sat down and wrote “Will you love me tomorrow” and sang it with her husband, I cried. I don’t know what it was. It was not supposed to be a sad scene or anything like that but I began to tear up.

Call me soft but it was that moment where I realized that I did not take my ‘songwriting’ career seriously. I have been a recording artist back in my country. Not a successful one financially but I was known. I have had five albums. Inspired by the songwriters, who worked on my first album, I wrote my first song to the tune of Ace Of Base’s “Lucky Love” for my first album. My manager loved it and the songwriters encouraged me, with no changes to the lyrics at all. So, I guess I started off as a lyricist.

For my second, third and forth album, the number of songs I wrote for myself accumulated in numbers. I started becoming a melody writer as well and not depend on other songs for tunes, which is illegal anyways. For my fifth album, I wrote and composed all the songs, lyrics and melody. Not only that, I became noticed as a songwriter.

In between my third and forth albums, I worked on an album with one of my close friends, Kyar Pauk, who is the lead singer of a punk rock band, Big Bag. That album never got out because I was busy studying and half way through, I moved out to Australia for my study. What happened was Kyar Pauk started to use my songs for his album and with his big fan following, I started to gain more respect and appreciation from his fan base. It’s also awesome how Kyar Pauk, not only gave me credits, but started to write on his social media about my collaboration with him.

My songwriting is like a game of roulette. There would be times when 4 out of 5 songs would be so awesome but there would be times where I would just have to accept that the songs I wrote would not work. As a songwriter, I guess you gotta grow a thick skin to rejections. I mean, it’s only fair that the artist wants to sing the songs they are comfortable with. It’s like Rihanna not wanting to work on the song Sia wrote for her “Cheap Thrills”

I started writing songs for big names in the music industry like Thiri Swe, Khin Bhone, Rebecca Win and Thein Linn. For some reason, I attract more female singers with my songwriting. There are also songs that I have worked on last year that has not been released yet. The name of the artists, I cannot reveal, since it’s up to them to release them at their will.

This year, I went through a writer’s block. Carole King never had it actually. (judging from the musical) It was not a big thing at first since I had so much things to focus with starting a new life in Sydney. It got a bit worse when I found myself a man and pretty much, I stopped giving time to songwriting. I have people waiting for my songs but I just didn’t really look into it.

That was the main reason I cried watching Carole King’s Will You Love Me Tomorrow part. Fransi has always been supportive with my songwriting. He loves my modesty but he has always questioned the reason behind me giving up on certain things. I guess sometimes I just need a push. He has given me a lot of push but I just never sat down to give time to stringing the 12 notes of a piano to form a song, that might be acceptable.

To be honest, I lack contacts here as well. Songwriting is like writing. You have to be ‘found’. I was found in Myanmar and I have shyed away from it. After watching Carole King tonight, I just thought I should give it one more go. I mean, this is something I breathe and I could just do at any time. I JUST HAVE TO GIVE TIME.

The musical, itself, was very nice. I never knew Carole wrote ‘Take good care of my baby”. I knew she did the “Loco motion”. And it was also nice to hear “You’ve got a friend” or “It’s too late”, being performed as one of the scenes of the musical.

I don’t think I had a writer’s block, nor lost my mojo. The offer is there in Myanmar and my friend, who’s working behind “The Voice” in Myanmar has shown interest to work together in the future to write songs for the show’s contestants. I guess the year 2018 will be a year where I visit this part of my life again. To write songs again. To tell stories through tunes and words. To share my thoughts of both fantasy and reality with those who can relate.

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My Soundtrack (March 2017)

Music influences my life and I always have this imaginative music at the background of my head for each and every minute of my life. Some songs healed me. Some songs cured me. Some songs moved me. Some songs gave me warmth. The following songs are the ten songs that had made it memorable for this month, with the reasons why, in no particular order.

Adele – I Miss You
It’s true what they say about how live music sounds so much better for other songs. This month, I was fortunate enough to be able to see Adele live. To be honest, I did not really like 25 album much but after seeing her perform live, I began to really like the songs in that album. I remember hating this song with the long intro but I guess this is one of my recent favorite now. Image result for adele 25
La Bouche – Be My Lover
I normally do not like to go to the DJ in clubs to ask for songs. Especially this song but BroJ00 and I have had this dance once where I realized this was one of the songs that he could sing to. (normally he does not know the songs I know) So I was surprised when he knows this song. Even better! I actually asked the DJ to play this song this time round. Related image
Enschway & Graves – Vulnerable
This month, not only marks the first time I have been to a trap gig, but also the first time I injure my nose until it bleeds dramatically on the dancefloor. It just so happens that it was Enschway’s gig. As much as I love this guy’s work, I did not have that much time to enjoy his whole set since I got injured halfway through his set. Image result for enschway vulnerable
Bahamas – Lost In The Light
I do admit that there has been so much ups and downs in my life, I still feel so lost. I feel like I have not reached the point in life where I feel ok with the things around me. As much as I have so much light shone on me, it seems like I’m still lost. Related image
Dashboard Confessional – Several Ways To Die Trying
No, I am not this depressed and I do believe that this song, despite the name of the song, is not that depressing. I remember this song back in 2004 when this gay friend of mine in the States sent this song to me online. I did not like it at first but everytime I listen to it, it makes me feel so nostalgic. Image result for dashboard confessional die trying
Butch Walker – Take Tomorrow (One Day At A Time)
When things start to overwhelm me a lot, like this month does, I guess it’s always a slap in the face to take one day at a time. Busy days at work, the uncertainty with guys I met and the inability to save money. It does get to me at times and I have to remind myself of this. Image result for butch walker left and self
Joni Mitchell – A Case Of You
I just wish one day I’ll be able to love someone this much. It seems like I’m constantly in fear of whether they will be there for me or if they’ll love me back. I wish I could drink a case of someone and still be on my feet. Image result for joni mitchell a case of you
Raspberries – Go All The Way
I love songs like these and melodies like these or The Beach Boys! I think I’m one of those people who died when The Beach Boys and these melodic songs were popular hahaha Image result for raspberries go all the way
Parekh & Singh – I Love You Baby, I Love You Doll
I actually found this group through the radio but I fell in love with them instantly. Apparently they are from Calcutta, but their music is produced in England. This music has put me in such a crazy peaceful mood at crazy times this month. Image result for Parekh & Singh - I Love You Baby, I Love You Doll
Blackberry Smoke – Up The Road
I guess my choice of songs are a bit depressing this month. I guess I am feeling a bit lonely this month. It’s always because there is a potential someone lurking around the corner. It’s true what Ben Folds Five says “Now that I have found someone, I’m feeling more alone”. And this song says it all as well “Things ain’t always better… up the road” Image result for blackberry smoke the whippoorwill

Curse of Barry Allen

I was watching “The Flash” today and yes, I am still in season 1. I am not that much of a fan of DC comics but maybe because the main actor is just so adorable and hot in “The Flash” TV series, I got a bit into watching it. I have never actually heard of the actor but he’s such a hottie. He goes by the name Grant Guston.

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So, I got sidetracked by how cute the actor is. Actually, the whole point of blogging about The Flash is on how bad I feel for the Flash character. Grant plays Barry Allen, who got hit by lightning to have this ability to move around superfast. Of course, a lot of you might already know who ‘The Flash’ is. So, he turned into this superhero and like any other superheroes, there is only a small group of people who knows that Barry is The Flash.

Now, Barry’s mom was killed by this superfast thing when he was a kid and his dad got arrested for this, even though he did not kill his mom. Since then, their neighbour, a black cop, has taken care of Barry, and this cop has a daughter, Iris. Of course, Barry and Iris grew up together, which makes them super close and tight best friends. However, Barry started to have a crush on Iris. There were some occasions where he tried to open up to her but he could never. To make things worse, she started going out with one of the detectives in her dad’s police station.

To make things even far worse, Iris’ dad, who knows that Barry is Flash, asked Barry to promise him that he would never blow his cover to his daughter, in fear that his daughter would get involved in this circle of crime fighting saga in the future. And to make it even more worse, Iris started a blog about The Flash, showing a huge interest on this crime fighting Flash. Flash tried to stop her from blogging about him or trying to figure who he is. He would go talk to her, always standing at angles where Iris would never be able to see the face of Flash. It gets super dramatic when Iris told him the reason she is so intrigued in this Flash phenomenon was because her best friend, Barry, the Flash of course, had always believed in the impossible and she wants to prove people about how her best friend is not crazy and he’s right. It was for the love she has on Barry, as a best friend of course.

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Can you imagine how suffocating it must be for The Flash? So, first of all, his crush/best friend friendzoned him, dated someone and now has shown a huge interest in his secret alter ego, because she cares about him. If I were The Flash, it would be intolerable to just have to keep it all in. Of course, my posts are never irrelevant but at times, I think about how good relationships between two people has this possibility to turn sour and somewhat buzzkilled because of the way two people look at things. From what looks like an awesome friendship, one can only wish things can escalate to a much more committed relationship than to have to fall under the ‘friendzoned’ card.

Yes, there is a reason why this is affecting me a bit. I am beginning to show a lot of interest for Mr747. Everything seems so right. If things should escalate, I would hate to be Barry Allen.

Fate vs. Science

Those of you who knows me would know how much of a couch potato I am. I love watching TV and truth be told, the reason that I can speak presentable English, as much as I would like to think it’s all from growing up in an international school, it was more from the TV series and movies that I watch. Recently, I’ve been so drawn to this TV show called “Frequency” on Netflix.

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Derived from a movie, where this guy got to contact his dead dad from ten years back to save his dad from dying and go through several butterfly effects to save his whole family, the series tells the same story. Instead of a son, it’s a daughter, named Raims, this time around. In order to save her dad from dying, she changed her past by getting contact with her dad through this old ham radio. She was about to get engaged to her boyfriend. But, saving her dad caused some butterfly effect where her mom ended up dying in the present and how her fiance was someone she does not know and who was about to get married to another girl.

As the plot goes on, it so happened that Raims kept crossing path with her fiance (well, fiance in the other present that has changed for now). Raims has collection of two pasts, one that was the original one and the one that got out from her saving her dad from dying. In the present life where his dad was saved, she ended up going to the bar where she would always go with her fiance (from the other past) would go. She bumped into the fiance. Then, there would be time she would bump into her fiance in the underground subway. Long story short, and this is not a spoiler, no matter how her once-fiance is engaged to another girl from another life in the current present, both of them started to fall for each other again.

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If there is anything interesting about this TV series, it is the whole fair share of ‘tug of war’ balance between science and fate. There is just so much that we can change from our pasts but there is also so much that we can run away from fate. Often, I would think about the ‘what ifs’ of those people I have loved or dated in my life. There has not been any moment where I would go back to those I have been involved with and I do believe that this is only happening because I am meant to be with someone who I have not met. Maybe I have met him but I do not know as yet that he is the one for me.

It also makes me wonder how if I were to change something, from the future, of my present as of now, would I have met him then? Would I have known this person I will have yet to meet in this current present I am living in now? Fate, to me, is one big thing I believe in. I believe in karma and I do believe that no matter what I do or try to do anything, something always pulls me towards things I’m meant to be. Just like how I had to get deported from Australia once to be able to go back to Myanmar and become the first to host the opening and closing ceremony of the SEA Games, which started my high rank career as a successful MC, with my own radio show.  Just like how I had to go back to my country to connect with my family again before I got back here to Australia to live a more settled life.

Fate is, in fact, quite scary and unavoidable. It would suck to lose the one I love in the present just because I change a past but knowing one can never exit from fate, I feel quite comfortable that I will, in fact, meet the dude of my life through fate. I have not seen him in this current present yet. Maybe, in my other parallel present, I might have met him. I might have been married to him. I might even broken up with him. I don’t know. But however, I shall wait for fate to bring me that right ‘one’ person in my life, who is meant to be with me forever.

Dick Bicycle

You know how back in our teenage years, we would always sing along to those songs in top 40 charts. We would always learn the lyrics. We would always sing together with our friends. We would put these songs on repeat when going on road trips. Word by word, we would just keep repeating it to ourselves and as we grow up, it would stick in our heads.

As we grow older, we stopped learning new songs. We stopped caring about new songs. We stopped listening properly and carefully to lyrics of songs from Top 40 charts. We would even rebel against majority pop hits and tend to start looking for other songs that we can personally be founders of. We would have this short attention span whenever we listen to these pop songs and we would think we know the lyrics but we do not.

There is a song on the radio called “Side to Side” by Ariana Grande featuring Nicki Minaj. I do have to admit it’s such an addictive song and the more I listen to it, the more I end up singing the chorus. Every time I hear this song, I just want to sing along to it. And whenever Nicki Minaj raps, I would start mouthing some part of it but alas, I never noticed what she was singing!

So, for Nicki’s part, she sang “Wrist icicle, ride dick bicycle.” Now, according to urban dictionary, dick bicycle means riding the dick all night long until you get sore the next day. And apparently the whole song is about having sex so hard you cannot walk the next day. I am not one of those haters who would hate on pop music just because a Nickelodeon pop starlet starts singing about sex. Let the kid grow up and she has every rights to sing whatever she wants.

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All I am really surprised is how I never actually even knew Nicki Minaj sang “Wrist Icicle, ride dick bicycle”. It was only during the weekend getaway when my friends brought this topic up about this lyric of the song that I noticed it was there in the song. I do not know what to think of it but I still like that song and I still adore Nicki and Ariana.

My Soundtrack (January 2017)

Music influences my life and I always have this imaginative music at the background of my head for each and every minute of my life. Some songs healed me. Some songs cured me. Some songs moved me. Some songs gave me warmth. The following songs are the ten songs that had made it memorable for this month, with the reasons why, in no particular order.

NxWorries – Livvin’
this song has always been one of the many songs I listened to on my way to work. Of all the songs I listened to walking to work, this song has always been in my ears. I have never heard of this band before until now and I have to admit most of the songs in their album “Yes Lawd!” are equally addictive.  Image result for nxworries yes lawd
Ace Of Base – Cool Summer
I am never a fan of summer and I have never thought of summer as one of those happy times when everyone starts to smile even though a lot of the people in Australia likes to think otherwise. This month has been tough on me since it has been such a cruel cruel summer.  Image result for ace of base cruel summer
Havana Brown – We Run The Night
This month sees the first time I have been to a gay party. Well, I have been to Mardi Gras after party before. But starting the year with a bang at Daywash for the first time, I also saw Havana Brown performing. I was and never am a big fan of hers but this song is the song I would always hear in Myanmar clubs, which I never knew, was sung by Havana Brown.  Image result for havana brown we run the night
Wham – Wake Me Up Before You Go Go
This was the song my friends and I danced to, when my manager from my previous retail job at Myer and my ex-colleague, who’s like my big sister, came and joined me out of nowhere at Stonewall, just because they got too depressed watching La La Land. Love you guys!  Image result for wham wake me up before you go go
Madonna – Back In Business
Talking about Madonna’s albums with MadonnaFan, I have always wondered why the version on the soundtrack album sounds different from the actual song off the Dick Tracy movie. Funny how the actual Madonna fan has never thought of this.  Image result for madonna back in business
EYC – Black Book
I have been able to realize, this month, that it’s much more convenient to have simultaneous friends with benefits, so we can always try the other ones when one is not free. So, yep, open that black book.  Image result for eyc black book
Jon Bellion – All Time Low
I fell in love with this song as soon as I heard it. I got to know this song from one of the music charts which I had been doing research on for my radio show. Liking this song makes me feel hip as well since I have finally felt like I could appreciate one of the top 40 pop songs of this new generation.  Image result for jon bellion all time low
The Weeknd – I Feel It Coming (featuring Daft Punk)
This is another song I have been constantly putting on repeat this month. My housemate and I talked about how The Weeknd sounds a lot like Michael Jackson in this song. This song just makes me feel so warm and it gets me in this mood where I want to have a boyfriend right away for some reason.  Image result for the weeknd i feel it coming
Nursey Rhymes – Where is Thumbkin
Pushing the pram of my friend’s baby on Oxford Street, I remember thinking to myself how awesome will it be to be able to have a kid of my own one day. It felt even better when the adorable kid, a four year old baby girl, started to sing “Where Is Thumbkin” in French to me. She only spoke in French but both Uncle Hein and babygirl shared one of those valuable moment together.  Image result for where is thumbkin cd
Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone – City Of Stars
Although I have not seen this movie, I have heard the soundtrack and I instantly fell in love with this song on it. I love it so much I ended up singing this on Smule and my housemate started playing this song on his piano as well.  Image result for la la land soundtrack

Dancing Little Marionette

As much as I used to be super excited about rooting for my country when it comes to global contests, maybe it’s the age catching up but these days, I find myself pretty much not giving a single fuck when it comes to contests or competitions that involve my homeland as one of the contestants. You might think I am not patriotic but that’s not true. I have always been #teammyanmar but I am just not active.

This year’s Miss Universe has actually changed the game. This does not mean I would actually stay up or plan to tune into any source of media available to watch it live. I have just found something worth blogging about after watching the Myanmar contestant’s national costume in the preliminary round of Miss Universe. There has been some rumors and hater comments about the contestant, Htet Htet Htun, this year. Despite my inquisitiveness showing, I was pretty too lazy to find out what the whole hate was about.

While browsing through the newsfeed on Facebook, I stumbled upon the post of the video of the Myanmar pageant walking in her national costume in Miss Universe contest. I was just curious but what I saw later opened my eyes and there was just a mixture of emotions as I watched this pretty lady walk off the runway with the national costume.

Emotion 1: Meh

You cannot really blame me for not expecting anything out of this national costume genre since it’s not just Myanmar but other countries do tend to overdo their national costumes, until the point where they have lost the whole concept of the actual beauty of their nationality. Some designers also tend to desperate infuse too much thought into the costume, which can make the costume look so much of a try hard and pretty much too cringe worthy. For instance, I was never a fan of the national costume for the pageant last year and it’s also because I know how beautiful she is but the costume just made her look a bit weird.

Emotion 2: WTF

As the Myanmar contestant this year came out of the back curtain. I could see something dangling behind her. She was wearing a national costume but she had something dangling behind her. She looks like a backpacker with a bag, that has a width that could tilt her to fall, if she loses balance. And since it was dangling behind her, I got a bit worried and I was pretty much about to facepalm myself until she reached the center of the stage.

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Emotion 3: Holy Shit

As you can see in the picture above, the gold base were off the floor and the poor girl had to balance the whole thing. If you look carefully, you can see how the two gold bases are slightly tilted. When she reached the center of the stage, she bent down a bit until those two bases touched the ground and to my surprise, the whole thing that she had carried to the middle of the stage stood still. I have worked with props, I have been in plays and I have done backstage management and I can see that the prop she was carrying was not light. If it was light, it would have fallen down after she placed it down. The whole prop stood still and in order for it to stand still, its girth would have to be just strong enough. This also means that she had been carrying this heavy thing. This showed that it was not light.

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Emotion 4: Goosebumps

After she placed the prop upright on the ground, she started to dance. Now, this dance is one of the traditional dances in Myanmar, called the marionette dance.After she had carried that big lump of a thing behind her back to the center of the stage, she started to dance. The dress looks amazing and she looks amazing. The prop also looks amazing. I forgot to mention how there was also a surprise factor to this prop. The red curtain was at first shut and it was only after she placed the prop down, when she pulled one of the strings, that the curtain opened wide to show the background of Myanmar scenic painting behind her.

Emotion 5: Patriotism

I hate to sound as if I’m exaggerating but at this point, I was just so euphorically patriotic. I have always been a fair watcher when it comes to contest among different countries but this time round, I just felt so much appreciation for my own country. At this point, other countries meant nothing. And I did mention strings just now. There was a set of string she pulled to reveal the background but there was also a set of strings on top of her, attached to her limbs, that represent the strings of a marionette. If you ask me, I was really proud of her for not having tangled the strings. It was a huge risk factor since the backdrop she was carrying could have fallen and the strings could have gotten tangled but dear god, she has reached this far with so much success!

Emotion 6: Scared

After dancing a bit, she carried the backdrop on her back again and she turned away from the crowd. Now, I do not know how this comes across to other people but having worked on stage before, I do know how it means a lot to performers or any people on the stage to not show any flaws. By any flaws, I am referring to the back of the props. Now, given the prop was this huge backdrop, I imagined the back of this prop to be made of wood. I was hoping it would be painted or just covered with the velvet curtain and as she turned around, I was so scared that it would show the backside of a prop.

Emotion 7: Proud

It was when she turned around and revealed this painting of a dancing marionette that I felt so relieved and so proud of her. The costume concept was perfect. It was maneuvered without any flaws. It was handled with so much surprises and it was just delivered with so much perfection. To me, it was just flawless, neat, meaningful and just something that I am so proud of.