Lately, I have been thinking lot of self-reflecting thoughts. It’s always been about the things around me. I guess I’m getting sick of changes in my life. I do not mind having a few changes here and there but as someone who’s always been on a move from one place to another and expected to have a very receptive adaptability with my every move, it’s become a bit tiring. It gets worse especially when I see my friends progressing and I always feel like I had to start from scratch again.
Walking to work, my iTune was playing Laura Pausini, an Italian singer I like. This made me think of last night where I was thinking of two of my soul mates back in Myanmar. Ok, soul mate, to me, need not necessarily be a man I am going to end my life with and have sex every night with. A soul mate, to me, is more of a friend I feel at home with. I am fortunate to have met a lot of good friends and close friends but I do have my fair share of those I can call my soul mates and these are the people I can just be myself around and always pick up where I leave off at any time without having to have to try hard. Before I moved back to Australia, I had two soul mates in Myanmar I was always around with. An Italian lady and a German girl.
Just like any good TV series, life does go on and the three of us are apart and we are pretty much in different continents and countries, leading our own lives. Maybe it was Laura Pausini or maybe it was my midlife crisis but this morning, I could not stop thinking about these two people in my life. Then, the more I think about them, the more I felt like I’m losing so much in my life without them. Well, of course, as all good friendship is made of, it’s pretty clear for the three of us that our friendship will never change and it will age like wine. However, physically, I do miss spending time with them. I miss meeting them out of nowhere. I miss waking up to looking forward to meeting them up. I miss retiring to each others’ arms after a long day of work.
As much as I do believe there will be more in the future, it does suck to not have it for the time being and as someone who’s always had things fade out of my life, I do sometimes ponder if this will just be another one of those milestones in my life that would just fade and stand pretty as an object of my past. Regardless of what stands in the way of our future, I decided that I would message both of them today.
It was during breaktime that I saw my Italian friend, Amore, tagged me on a post on Facebook. It was one of those annoying little videos that Facbeook would make off to celebrate several years of friendship between friends on Facebook. Apparently, the friendship with me showed up on Amore‘s newsfeed today. But this is where it gets interesting. She actually dreamt of me last night that I hugged her so hard without letting go for a long time. She was so happy to see me and she started crying, only to wake up to find this on her Facebook. Now, freakily enough, my mind was crying out for her and GermanMama the night before. Maybe the universe heard my cry. Maybe, there was something in the air that got my message to them. Maybe, we three are indeed connected in this weird kind of way where we can sense each other in one way or another. Funnily enough, when I mentioned about this to Amore and about how I miss GermanMama too, Amore mentioned that she was in her dream too.
It’s this kind of love that assures me that there is such thing as this kind of connection on this planet Earth. In a world where corruptions exist in unpredictable patterns, one can do nothing but cherish and treasure this kinda of priceless love that is shared between the three of us. I couldn’t stop smiling reading the message from them at work. The walk home from work to the bus stop that I catch to get home to is long and it was raining heavily. Under my umbrella and partially getting soaked, I gave a heavy sigh and cried a little bit since there was no one around me at 7 pm. It was not because I was sad or happy but I just could not stop missing those happy times I shared with both of them. Then, a few minutes later, I felt a bit stupid crying under an umbrella in the middle of a street and I started to smirk at myself for looking like this teenage girl in some Korean drama. Heavy rain! Violin in the background (yeah, my iTune was playing some classical violin music)! It was pretty much a Korean drama.