My Soundtrack (March 2017)

Music influences my life and I always have this imaginative music at the background of my head for each and every minute of my life. Some songs healed me. Some songs cured me. Some songs moved me. Some songs gave me warmth. The following songs are the ten songs that had made it memorable for this month, with the reasons why, in no particular order.

Adele – I Miss You
It’s true what they say about how live music sounds so much better for other songs. This month, I was fortunate enough to be able to see Adele live. To be honest, I did not really like 25 album much but after seeing her perform live, I began to really like the songs in that album. I remember hating this song with the long intro but I guess this is one of my recent favorite now. Image result for adele 25
La Bouche – Be My Lover
I normally do not like to go to the DJ in clubs to ask for songs. Especially this song but BroJ00 and I have had this dance once where I realized this was one of the songs that he could sing to. (normally he does not know the songs I know) So I was surprised when he knows this song. Even better! I actually asked the DJ to play this song this time round. Related image
Enschway & Graves – Vulnerable
This month, not only marks the first time I have been to a trap gig, but also the first time I injure my nose until it bleeds dramatically on the dancefloor. It just so happens that it was Enschway’s gig. As much as I love this guy’s work, I did not have that much time to enjoy his whole set since I got injured halfway through his set. Image result for enschway vulnerable
Bahamas – Lost In The Light
I do admit that there has been so much ups and downs in my life, I still feel so lost. I feel like I have not reached the point in life where I feel ok with the things around me. As much as I have so much light shone on me, it seems like I’m still lost. Related image
Dashboard Confessional – Several Ways To Die Trying
No, I am not this depressed and I do believe that this song, despite the name of the song, is not that depressing. I remember this song back in 2004 when this gay friend of mine in the States sent this song to me online. I did not like it at first but everytime I listen to it, it makes me feel so nostalgic. Image result for dashboard confessional die trying
Butch Walker – Take Tomorrow (One Day At A Time)
When things start to overwhelm me a lot, like this month does, I guess it’s always a slap in the face to take one day at a time. Busy days at work, the uncertainty with guys I met and the inability to save money. It does get to me at times and I have to remind myself of this. Image result for butch walker left and self
Joni Mitchell – A Case Of You
I just wish one day I’ll be able to love someone this much. It seems like I’m constantly in fear of whether they will be there for me or if they’ll love me back. I wish I could drink a case of someone and still be on my feet. Image result for joni mitchell a case of you
Raspberries – Go All The Way
I love songs like these and melodies like these or The Beach Boys! I think I’m one of those people who died when The Beach Boys and these melodic songs were popular hahaha Image result for raspberries go all the way
Parekh & Singh – I Love You Baby, I Love You Doll
I actually found this group through the radio but I fell in love with them instantly. Apparently they are from Calcutta, but their music is produced in England. This music has put me in such a crazy peaceful mood at crazy times this month. Image result for Parekh & Singh - I Love You Baby, I Love You Doll
Blackberry Smoke – Up The Road
I guess my choice of songs are a bit depressing this month. I guess I am feeling a bit lonely this month. It’s always because there is a potential someone lurking around the corner. It’s true what Ben Folds Five says “Now that I have found someone, I’m feeling more alone”. And this song says it all as well “Things ain’t always better… up the road” Image result for blackberry smoke the whippoorwill

Concord or 747 (Part 2)

So, after back and forth conversing with Mr747, it so turned out that there is a chance that we do not just exist via whatsapp. I will be meeting him tomorrow!!!

Ok, before I make myself sound like a retarded girl in high school who just got asked by the heart-throb football jock to be his date at the prom, let me just say that I am really happy about this ONLY because I was a bit worried that this connection between me and Mr747 is going to stop via messaging.

Yes, it’s one thing to keep up with conversations or chats from dating apps and as I have blogged before, he seems to be doing a really good job at being able to talk with me or have something to chat about with me most of the time. From most of the people I had known from dating apps, he is, by far, the best since it was not a conversation where we ask each other what we’re wearing or conversations where we anticipate what we would do each other, if horny. It was just really good chat/conversation between him and me.

Now that we have established that we will be meeting again for the second time, it seems pretty awesome how these chats could lead up to actually meeting face to face with Mr747 again. Truth be told, I am not really expecting anything and even if there is anything to be expected, I will not mind the wait. However, I’m just glad that something good is evolving and even if it was a friendship between us, I would be grateful since it’s really rare to get a friendship out of Grindr too.

I guess I’m looking forward to meeting him tomorrow…..

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Curse of Barry Allen

I was watching “The Flash” today and yes, I am still in season 1. I am not that much of a fan of DC comics but maybe because the main actor is just so adorable and hot in “The Flash” TV series, I got a bit into watching it. I have never actually heard of the actor but he’s such a hottie. He goes by the name Grant Guston.

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So, I got sidetracked by how cute the actor is. Actually, the whole point of blogging about The Flash is on how bad I feel for the Flash character. Grant plays Barry Allen, who got hit by lightning to have this ability to move around superfast. Of course, a lot of you might already know who ‘The Flash’ is. So, he turned into this superhero and like any other superheroes, there is only a small group of people who knows that Barry is The Flash.

Now, Barry’s mom was killed by this superfast thing when he was a kid and his dad got arrested for this, even though he did not kill his mom. Since then, their neighbour, a black cop, has taken care of Barry, and this cop has a daughter, Iris. Of course, Barry and Iris grew up together, which makes them super close and tight best friends. However, Barry started to have a crush on Iris. There were some occasions where he tried to open up to her but he could never. To make things worse, she started going out with one of the detectives in her dad’s police station.

To make things even far worse, Iris’ dad, who knows that Barry is Flash, asked Barry to promise him that he would never blow his cover to his daughter, in fear that his daughter would get involved in this circle of crime fighting saga in the future. And to make it even more worse, Iris started a blog about The Flash, showing a huge interest on this crime fighting Flash. Flash tried to stop her from blogging about him or trying to figure who he is. He would go talk to her, always standing at angles where Iris would never be able to see the face of Flash. It gets super dramatic when Iris told him the reason she is so intrigued in this Flash phenomenon was because her best friend, Barry, the Flash of course, had always believed in the impossible and she wants to prove people about how her best friend is not crazy and he’s right. It was for the love she has on Barry, as a best friend of course.

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Can you imagine how suffocating it must be for The Flash? So, first of all, his crush/best friend friendzoned him, dated someone and now has shown a huge interest in his secret alter ego, because she cares about him. If I were The Flash, it would be intolerable to just have to keep it all in. Of course, my posts are never irrelevant but at times, I think about how good relationships between two people has this possibility to turn sour and somewhat buzzkilled because of the way two people look at things. From what looks like an awesome friendship, one can only wish things can escalate to a much more committed relationship than to have to fall under the ‘friendzoned’ card.

Yes, there is a reason why this is affecting me a bit. I am beginning to show a lot of interest for Mr747. Everything seems so right. If things should escalate, I would hate to be Barry Allen.

Somewhat Human

mar28It’s really hard to find someone like Mr747 actually. So, yes, we have met. We have spoken on chat before. We have left impressions that we enjoyed each other’s company. I do understand there’s nothing there to expect between us and I do not even know if there is going to be sex between us, since that was the first intention of chatting up with him in the first stage. However, I am quite surprised to see a bit of a continuity.

Bored during break time at work, I just texted him for no reason and Alas, he replied. Maybe it kinda helps that he is from Melbourne and he’s living in Sydney like me, a Burmese guy living in Sydney. We are both loners and I do not know what it is about him but it was quite refreshing that he actually replied to my texts.

Yes, one might think that I’m throwing a woohoo over something so small but if you have used a dating app before, especially the gay dating apps, you would know how it is so difficult to gain that continuity of communication between two strangers who had met through an online platform.

It was just not a reply but he would continue the topical conversation. The topic was of nothing. I just happened to have to eat vegetables today as part of my Buddhist routine. From that topic, our conversation escalated to how he has friends in Brisbane who knows how to cook veggie dish. Then, we talked about how he should look into Randwick if he was to look for somewhere to live in. Then, out of nowhere, we started talking about his housemate cooking for him and then about how they were going to watch a movie called Uncle.

I do not really know what to make of this person but once in a while, it’s very refreshing to get to know someone human-like from Grindr.

Concord Or 747

“Concord or 747”? That was the first line that got us together.

I was having one of those toey days and I was just surfing Grindr for a potential quickie. At first, I didn’t really have any plans to talk with him but something lured me into talking with him. His picture looks cute but it did not catch my eyes. Blinded by thousands of half naked man or pictures of male crotches wrapped around lycra, although I was not really into them, his sweet face meant nothing for me. After all, I was toey and I was looking for someone without any intentions of a good chat.

Both of us were conversing away on Grindr. Normally I would not really chat that much unless I know I’m locked into getting my Mojo off with someone. I would not really chat that much unless I can see something happening between us. This man I was passionately talking with was a man who ended a seven year marriage with his ex-wife and just recently got out of a relationship with his ex boyfriend during Mardi Gras.

“I am not looking for anything.” I was aware of this and I was also a bit hesitant about our meet up since I do not know what got me agreeing to meet him up for a couple of beer. Maybe I miss the old fashioned drinks that we normally get ourselves into among my younger years from these dating apps. Maybe I miss intimacy with a normal guy to be friends with. Maybe I was thirsty for a gay friend. Not that I do not have any but it would just be great to actually have to meet someone whose first agenda isn’t sex.

Ironic eh? Especially for someone who’s looking for sex, it’s funny how I succumb to being defeated to agree to have a conversational meet up with this intelligent soul.

When I finally met him, I was amazed. I would always minus the quality of a person from their dating apps profile pics. There can always be a possibility of great filters used and people would always upload pics from the best looking angles. This guy, on the other hand, looks so much cuter in real life.

Looking so cute, same age as me, and having this ability to converse with me almost about anything, it was a great meet up. There has been a few times where he kept repeating about how we think so alike. I felt good. It was pure. It was clean. I was not expecting anything. I could put myself in his shoes as someone who has been pretty much scarred from relationships in the past. It’s not like I’m in his position but I can totally respect that he was not looking for anything.

He did mention he felt like he has known me for a long time. He said we have so much in common and he did mention how he tells me things he would normally not tell others. Maybe it was the beer but I like to think that it was just that priceless amount of click between the two of us.

Will you believe me if I told you that meeting up with this man for one of the best conversations was so much more satisfying than great sex with someone I do not know. It was not because I was so hooked on him as well. I just felt this certain ease of tensionless good conversation between two men. No agenda, nothing but a potential friendship between me and Mr747.

His three questions were simple, except for the last one.

Beer or wine?

Tea or coffee?

Concord or 747?

He asked me think about the last question and we would talk about it when we met. After the meet up on Saturday, he said it was just a random question. I was not really sold that he was just asking it randomly. But yeah, the meet up went so well we both forgot to make more of why that question was asked.

Concord or 747? I guess I’ll know one day.

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Convicting Feliny

SaltNPepa has been out of the picture for a while and I did not really get any messages from him during the week. Well, I do respect people for being busy and not being able to prioritize other things in their lives. Since the weekend was here, I finally negotiated with my ego to get myself to message SaltNPepa on Friday. We decided to meet this Sunday, which was today. To be exact, we decided to meet up for lunch near his place.

Of course, being the super thinker as I am, I have prepared myself for a potential dessert with this man, which I would not mind. And by dessert, I do not mean the sweet kind we put in or mouth (unless we define tastes of males genitals as sweet). And I kinda chose the place near him since I do not have the power or motivation to clean my room.

And yes, when the day actually came. SaltNPepa cancelled. How dare he? Well, it seems like he’s one of those people who works during the weekends and fair enough. I do get it to be honest. When you come back from work and especially when you’re too tired, the last thing you want to do is pick outfits to impress others. Or get your ass out of bed to go for lunch with a guy you got the number from at Palms night club two Fridays ago.

I was not angry to be honest. A little bit annoyed although with my newly unbroken injured nose, I was not in any mood to get out of my comfortable bedroom. He said he had to run a few errands at his place today and at first he was aiming to meet later in the evening but he cancelled. Without waiting for his confirmation, I met up with BroJ00 for our usual weekend intoxicating rendezvous at toms rooftop bar.

SaltNPepa asked me if it was possible to meet during the week days. Well, to be honest, my work shifts are from 11am until 7 pm this week and it was just a bit impossible to be able to make that work. Since it would be nearing 9 pm by the time I reach the city after work, it was just a bit not really workable. Regardless, I just asked him to message me when he wants to meet.

I call this the ‘cat’ move. Cats, unlike dogs, have this tendency to be attracted more to people who do not give a shit about them. My sister is a cat lover and she had this cute Persian for three years and the cat actually tries so hard to get the attention of her husband, who normally does not really give a hoot about its existence. Whenever my sister’s hubby feels like petting the cat, the cat would be on his natural high with his eyes closed, leaning its body towards the hubby.

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Just like the Persian, I’m gonna leave the ball in SaltNPepa‘s court. I do not think he deserves to be given any attention until he is ready to actually meet up with me. Until he actually could motivate himself to meet up with me. Yes, being busy is something we all get webbed into in our lives but making time is also something that should be doable regardless. So yeah, watch me meow away purr-fectly away from you, mr!

In the end, if things are meant to be between me and SaltNPepa, be it partnership, relationship, friendship or fuckbuddyship (if that’s a word), one should not have to try this hard. So yeah, the ball’s in his court and this cat needs to focus on other things to spend his nine lives on. Especially after meeting this awesome guy yesterday evening. But ah well, I’ll have to leave the story about this guy for another day.

Bloody Trap

During my trip back to Myanmar, when my friends in Myanmar were trying to plan on going to a rave together, they asked me if I wanted to come with them. Being in Myanmar only for a few days and I would rather spend more time with my family. I told them no, which they were all ok with. However, when I told them that I had never been to a rave, this was when I found out that sometimes, people actually assumed some things out of me, which I might have never done before. Yes, they were surprised and most of them even refused to believe that I had never been to a rave before.

A few days ago, my friend asked me if I wanted to go with her and a bunch of her friends to a trap gig, I said yes right away. Yes, life is short and preaching #yolo, I agreed to try new things in my life. Now, I am not a stranger to trap music and being a songwriter who’s constantly on a watch over the evolution of music, I am well aware of how trap music has somewhat dominate some part of pop culture. However, I have never been to a trap gig before. How is this even a gig? I somewhat see this as a mini rave where you have DJ’s playing music on stage for people to dance with.

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It was at Oxford Art factory and I have to admit I do love the venue. It was small, yet cozy. Arty, yet not pretentious. Daring, yet not loud. I got there at 9 pm and the supporting act just kept going on and on until 1 am. There were altogether four DJ changes before the actual main act, this famous local trap DJ called Enschway, got up on stage to DJ.

I have seen and heard of mosh pits but this was the first ever time I have ever seen a trap gig mosh pit. I have never imagine people moshing to the trap beat but it kinda works. The cool thing about mosh pits in this gig was how friendly and united people are. In Myanmar, it would take people ages to warm up to get their butts on the dance floor. Here, at this gig, people were just so united bopping their heads in unison to the beat. Then, there was this mosh pit in the centre where mostly guys would get inside and push each other. They would push each other and some of them would actually fall down from pushing each other. I thought there was going to be a fight at any second but no, these people were smiling and laughing at each other and they would pick each other up when they fall. It was somewhat dangerous, but cute. I’m all up for anything when it comes to peace.

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After 30 minutes into the main act, although I have to admit how it was no surprise that Enschway is popular. I was getting so tired of being on the dancefloor. Maybe it was the energy of the crowd but it also seemed as if the crowd was getting much more energetic as well. I decided to go up the stairs away from the dancefloor and just view the crowd. It was a good view from the top. Head bopping in unison and people so actively pushing each other in the mosh pit, all for the sake of fun.

My friend came and called me down. At first, I was not going to go down but then, given they said they would be leaving in 30 minutes, I decided to go down and have some fun. Now, there was this chick there who kept dancing cray cray and she kept pushing others, including my friend and me. She would put her hands on our shoulders. It was not offensive and it’s nice to see her having ultimate fun being all friendly with anyone around her. However, when my friend told me how he thought she is on drugs, I had to agree.

While I was bopping my head to the final 30 minutes of the night, suddenly the mosh pit got violent. My friends and I did stay away at a distance. No matter how much we thought we were at a safe zone, some distance away from the mosh pit, it was not safe enough. And something did stop me from going back to the dancefloor but I just had to go back down there to be with my friend, although I did not want to be down there. It was then and there that when I looked up, I saw the back of my friend’s head coming towards my face and before I knew what was happening, his head thudded heavily into my face and my nose started bleeding a waterfall of blood.

I thought it was just a simple cut or just my veins bursting from the heat of the night. Nope, it was an injury of some sort. It was then that that girl, who my friend and I thought was on drugs, came to me and asked me if I were ok. I was ok and the only thing that was lingering at that time in my head was how I would not be happy if I ended up with a broken nose and which surgeon should I go to for a nose job. Thailand or Korea? Yes, that was what was in my head. As I looked up at the girl to say I am ok, my nose started to bleed more until there was a flood of unstoppable flow of blood rushed out of my nostril. Then, my friend and that girl led me to the security guard.

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This is what’s good about Australia I guess. The security guard asked me to sit down and took care of me. There was this guy from the bar, who I am pretty sure is someone who has medic experience, came to me and gave me a tissue with some liquid in it and asked me to put it in my nose. He said “it would sting”. I cringed. I hate things that sting. But, to my surprise, it did not sting at all. I was also lucky that my friend’s boyfriend was actually a boxer, a boxing fighter. He asked me if I were breathing normal. This was ok and I was indeed breathing normally. He assured me as long as I was breathing normally, it would mean that I had not broken any bones. Yay! No more surgery needed.

As much as I did not feel anything much and surprisingly not freaked out for the amount of blood I have on my face, I was calm. I was ok. However, everyone around me was stressing out making sure I was ok. I can’t blame them. The blood took some time to stop dripping and it was just a massive amount of blood.

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So yeah it was my first trap gig and the first time I bled in a night club. I almost felt like a manly man, walking out of the club with a blood stained shirt. I am not sure if people looked but I made sure I took off the shirt that had blood stains on it before people start thinking that I got into some fight. Quite a night! Quite an experience! You only live once and hopefully, you only bleed once!