My Soundtrack (January 2017)

Music influences my life and I always have this imaginative music at the background of my head for each and every minute of my life. Some songs healed me. Some songs cured me. Some songs moved me. Some songs gave me warmth. The following songs are the ten songs that had made it memorable for this month, with the reasons why, in no particular order.

NxWorries – Livvin’
this song has always been one of the many songs I listened to on my way to work. Of all the songs I listened to walking to work, this song has always been in my ears. I have never heard of this band before until now and I have to admit most of the songs in their album “Yes Lawd!” are equally addictive.  Image result for nxworries yes lawd
Ace Of Base – Cool Summer
I am never a fan of summer and I have never thought of summer as one of those happy times when everyone starts to smile even though a lot of the people in Australia likes to think otherwise. This month has been tough on me since it has been such a cruel cruel summer.  Image result for ace of base cruel summer
Havana Brown – We Run The Night
This month sees the first time I have been to a gay party. Well, I have been to Mardi Gras after party before. But starting the year with a bang at Daywash for the first time, I also saw Havana Brown performing. I was and never am a big fan of hers but this song is the song I would always hear in Myanmar clubs, which I never knew, was sung by Havana Brown.  Image result for havana brown we run the night
Wham – Wake Me Up Before You Go Go
This was the song my friends and I danced to, when my manager from my previous retail job at Myer and my ex-colleague, who’s like my big sister, came and joined me out of nowhere at Stonewall, just because they got too depressed watching La La Land. Love you guys!  Image result for wham wake me up before you go go
Madonna – Back In Business
Talking about Madonna’s albums with MadonnaFan, I have always wondered why the version on the soundtrack album sounds different from the actual song off the Dick Tracy movie. Funny how the actual Madonna fan has never thought of this.  Image result for madonna back in business
EYC – Black Book
I have been able to realize, this month, that it’s much more convenient to have simultaneous friends with benefits, so we can always try the other ones when one is not free. So, yep, open that black book.  Image result for eyc black book
Jon Bellion – All Time Low
I fell in love with this song as soon as I heard it. I got to know this song from one of the music charts which I had been doing research on for my radio show. Liking this song makes me feel hip as well since I have finally felt like I could appreciate one of the top 40 pop songs of this new generation.  Image result for jon bellion all time low
The Weeknd – I Feel It Coming (featuring Daft Punk)
This is another song I have been constantly putting on repeat this month. My housemate and I talked about how The Weeknd sounds a lot like Michael Jackson in this song. This song just makes me feel so warm and it gets me in this mood where I want to have a boyfriend right away for some reason.  Image result for the weeknd i feel it coming
Nursey Rhymes – Where is Thumbkin
Pushing the pram of my friend’s baby on Oxford Street, I remember thinking to myself how awesome will it be to be able to have a kid of my own one day. It felt even better when the adorable kid, a four year old baby girl, started to sing “Where Is Thumbkin” in French to me. She only spoke in French but both Uncle Hein and babygirl shared one of those valuable moment together.  Image result for where is thumbkin cd
Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone – City Of Stars
Although I have not seen this movie, I have heard the soundtrack and I instantly fell in love with this song on it. I love it so much I ended up singing this on Smule and my housemate started playing this song on his piano as well.  Image result for la la land soundtrack

La Livre Noire

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At some points in our single lives, the word ‘regular’ does not really work much. Especially if you’re one hell of a horn bag, it is pretty much impossible to have a one stop shop that would be as convenient as a 24 hours shop, when it comes to your sex buddies. If I have to make it sound better, we may call it these lovely people our ‘friends’ with benefits.

This has happened before last year when this one hell of a good fuck sounded so promising but it turned into a no show. I never understood the reason why. The hook up was one of the best and the guy kept saying how he wanted to do this more often. After that one time, there was no catch up later. For the first few weeks, I did try to make an effort to set the time and place for me and him to meet but he pretty much shoved off these invitations with the ‘busy’ card. I intend to believe him although my ego was pretty much stained by this subconscious assumption that he had just grown tired of fucking me, after just one time.

During these days, the only potential fwb for me is Leprechaun. Two meet ups with nothing but good sex and a bonus post-sex ‘lie in bed and talk about nothings’ connection, he seems to be hitting high in my little black book. However, it’s only fair that he’s not always available. For instance, he was not really free the day before and yesterday. I do completely understand and I do not expect him to always be there for me during every weekend. Especially when I will be off for a weekend getaway for my friend’s birthday next week, it’s only fair that I take his reasons for his busy schedules seriously and assume they are spoken out of ultimate honesty.

So what do we do when we face these things? It has never occurred to me actually. Especially given I am not that dumb to have never thought of this, it does drive me up the wall how this has never come up in my head. Why have I limited myself with just one regular buddy? Why not have more than one? Maybe it’s my clinginess talking but it seems like I get drawn to stick to one guy even for sex. Alas, dear me!

So, it was time for me to look at my little black book, aka my Whatsapp chat history. I saw some potentials but I stumbled across an old friend I have stopped meeting. I have no idea why I have stopped meeting him when the last sex we had was quite good and he lives pretty close to the city. BieberMan (yep, I shall call him this) and I met some time last year when we were both frisky. We met up.

For some reason, I went to his place right after work and my shoes had started to stink my feet. It was quite embarrassing but when I took off my shoes, we could both smell my stinky feet. There came a point in our conversation when he started to joke “I don’t know if it’s my feet or yours but I do apologise if it is my feet that is causing this smell”.  Then, I remember having a shower at his place and I remember although he finished quite fast, it was still a good root! Given he had been to Myanmar before, BieberMan was a pleasure to be around. He made me feel comfortable and I have noted how I would like to meet him up again.

Maybe it was because I started to date after a few days I met up with him or something like that but we had not met up for some time. I finally opened a conversation with him and alas, he was quite responsive and pretty much more than happy to have me back on his fuck wagon once again! Yay, go me!

Pause Button

Given I am pretty much a couch potato who watches a lot of TV series, it’s not really surprising to say that I get drawn towards the characters of the TV series. I don’t know about the readers here but I tend to sort of imagine myself as a lead character of my own TV series. And it always helps to get inspirations from the other characters of the TV series to kinda know how to make things happen.

It’s not difficult to just stay in bed and do nothing but it’s not easy at all to come up with something to do and actually feel satisfied towards the end. Especially with so much distractions like Netflix and phone apps these days, it’s too easy and convenient to just stay home and pass out in bed. What seems like a 3 minutes of a few games of gin rummy on my phone always ends up as actually four hours of hardcore gaming, without realizing how much time is spent.

Gossip Girl has been pretty much on my playlist lately. Yes, I am sooo far behind and while the other people has already celebrated the death of this TV series, I am still enjoying the thrills and spills of what little of an excitement the GG franchise has to offer. I am currently in the fifth season, one more season to reveal that Dan Humphrey is the Gossip Girl. Ok, you cannot call me the spoiler here when it was all over the internet last few years ago.

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I used to get motivated watching Serena and Blaire. They do have their own little moments where they are so attached to their handphones but most of the times, they would always have things to do, people to meet, plots to handle and a huge life ahead of them to live. I want to be like them. Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying I want to be this spoilt brat who lives off the money my rich parents make and pretty much go trolling other unfortunate weaklings in the most sassiest way imaginable. It’s more of the appreciation to watch these two pretty much living life.

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Like these two characters, I want to be out there, meeting friends, keeping in touch with them, taking pictures, living each and every single minute. Of course I would like to keep myself grounded when it comes to spending money but just because Gossip Girl takes place in Manhattan does not mean each episode is based on how much they spent. It’s just quite inspirational for me to see little things they do, like eating ice cream on the street or meeting up people, whenever they want.

Call it unlucky but this season of Gossip Girl finds Serena having a life crisis. She seems to be losing her mojo and pretty much herself. It got to the point where she was just so unmotivated and let down by her life that she ended up hogging Gossip Girl’s account to pretend to be Gossip Girl for a short while. On the other hand, we got Blair Waldorf, who is in this maze of being torn between Chuck and other men in her life. She seems to be with her shit together but it was also quite painful to see her struggling on this confusion of not knowing what she wants in her life as well.

We can say that even two of the fictional characters who could inspire me are heading towards the downward spiral and given I seem pretty much am still trying to find my grounds in Australia whilst trying to figure out which friends I want to hang out with more or the things I want to do here, life seems pretty much caught up in a pause button that broke after having been pressed. What or who would fix that pause button in my life? I don’t know. But at this moment, even Serena and Blair are both under the same spell.

 

Non Play-Tonic

This has happened to me before and I cannot put a finger on it but I think I have a fear of being in a group. I do not mind crowds and people has said how much of an extrovert I am, although I beg to differ. However, I do not really like a ‘village’. What do I mean by ‘village’? It is just a group of people, more than five members, that could get supertight until things just revolve around each other. Nothing productive comes out of it and as much as there is a good sign of friendship among the group, it does ignite a spark of drama amongst the members.

Instead of going out last night to Arq, which I would normally do on a Friday to end up waking up with a bad hangover on the next Saturday morning, I woke up today to a sober Saturday morning with the pleasant notion that I am going to enjoy my day. I was meeting my bro-from-another-mo, BroJ00, a bisexual friend who I’ve met from Tinder and with whom the friendship has become more awesome and interesting given both of us have this awesome appreciation for “How I Met Your Mother”.

I took my friend to this place called MasterBowl in Chinatown. It’s this place where you tick all these things on a check list and all of these would be friend in a huge bowl with chilli; you can also choose your own chilli level. The cool thing about going out with this friend of mine to this type of restaurant is the fact that we both do not give a shit about what we pick but we just tick whatever we want. It ended up costing $96.00. From black fungus to duck’s gizzard, we just order whatever we think sounds delicious. It was worth it to be honest since we both ended up taking some leftover home. Before I blog on, you would appreciate the 96 dollars worth of food when the food looks as good as this.

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BroJ00 and I were supposed to go see a movie after our lunch but we ended up walking around town. Sydney was celebrating Chinese New Year and it was worth walking around town looking at pop-up ambience decors. My friend then took me to this bar he once stumbled into tipsy. It was called The Republic and I have to admit it was a pretty good change to just have a seat in a straight bar, sipping on cool beer on a cruel cruel day.

So, the plan afterwards was to meet up with another friend of mine, who has the same name as one of the auditoriums in my uni back in my uni years. Now, this friend, MrAuditorium, is a guy I got to know from “Are You Interested” Facebook application years ago. We added each other on Facebook without having met since I was in Myanmar and he was in Australia. When I got back here, we met up but I was with my ex back then. So, nothing happened but for some reason, I feel pretty close to him. Although I am not too sure he would be my type, I do have a thing for him. It’s true what they say! Personalities do attract after all.

MrAuditorium does not really live in Sydney but he is currently taking sign language course, where he would have to come to Sydney once every week. I took him out for dinner, followed by a night out at Palms, another one of my favorite gay venues on Oxford Street. It was so good to see him again. This time around, I am single but to be honest, it kinda makes things a wee bit awkward. I did not know if I were supposed to do anything with him or expect anything with him.

Even though I really enjoy being out with MrAuditorium tonight, it was not really a good idea to tkae him to a gay venue. And it was also bad timing how there seemed to be a lot of good looking guys at Palms. Not only were there good looking guys but a few of them kinda made eye contact with me or smiled at me. I know I do not owe my friend any explanation and I could’ve just flirted with these guys but given I also flirt with this friend of mine and I was taking him out, I felt a bit guilty to be flirting with others.

BroJ00 joined us as well. He was worried he would be a third wheel to me and my friend. But, to be honest, I was glad he was there. I do not know how to explain it. BroJ00 and I always have good time when we go out. There was nothing awkward between us and it was just pure friendship. Whereas with MrAuditorium, I cannot really be myself around him since I do not really know whether I was playing a platonic card or the flirt cards with him.

Given MrAuditorium has an early class the next day, I had to leave Palms early at 1am. BroJ000 left as well, a bit disappointed the pub did not play his favorite La Bouche’s song. As much as I would like to stay on and flirt with those hot guys, I was glad I went home early. Given I could not get myself to be able to flirt with other guys while I have my other flirt-friend out with me, it was a bit of a suffer to just stand there and do nothing with these hot guys.

Dancing Little Marionette

As much as I used to be super excited about rooting for my country when it comes to global contests, maybe it’s the age catching up but these days, I find myself pretty much not giving a single fuck when it comes to contests or competitions that involve my homeland as one of the contestants. You might think I am not patriotic but that’s not true. I have always been #teammyanmar but I am just not active.

This year’s Miss Universe has actually changed the game. This does not mean I would actually stay up or plan to tune into any source of media available to watch it live. I have just found something worth blogging about after watching the Myanmar contestant’s national costume in the preliminary round of Miss Universe. There has been some rumors and hater comments about the contestant, Htet Htet Htun, this year. Despite my inquisitiveness showing, I was pretty too lazy to find out what the whole hate was about.

While browsing through the newsfeed on Facebook, I stumbled upon the post of the video of the Myanmar pageant walking in her national costume in Miss Universe contest. I was just curious but what I saw later opened my eyes and there was just a mixture of emotions as I watched this pretty lady walk off the runway with the national costume.

Emotion 1: Meh

You cannot really blame me for not expecting anything out of this national costume genre since it’s not just Myanmar but other countries do tend to overdo their national costumes, until the point where they have lost the whole concept of the actual beauty of their nationality. Some designers also tend to desperate infuse too much thought into the costume, which can make the costume look so much of a try hard and pretty much too cringe worthy. For instance, I was never a fan of the national costume for the pageant last year and it’s also because I know how beautiful she is but the costume just made her look a bit weird.

Emotion 2: WTF

As the Myanmar contestant this year came out of the back curtain. I could see something dangling behind her. She was wearing a national costume but she had something dangling behind her. She looks like a backpacker with a bag, that has a width that could tilt her to fall, if she loses balance. And since it was dangling behind her, I got a bit worried and I was pretty much about to facepalm myself until she reached the center of the stage.

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Emotion 3: Holy Shit

As you can see in the picture above, the gold base were off the floor and the poor girl had to balance the whole thing. If you look carefully, you can see how the two gold bases are slightly tilted. When she reached the center of the stage, she bent down a bit until those two bases touched the ground and to my surprise, the whole thing that she had carried to the middle of the stage stood still. I have worked with props, I have been in plays and I have done backstage management and I can see that the prop she was carrying was not light. If it was light, it would have fallen down after she placed it down. The whole prop stood still and in order for it to stand still, its girth would have to be just strong enough. This also means that she had been carrying this heavy thing. This showed that it was not light.

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Emotion 4: Goosebumps

After she placed the prop upright on the ground, she started to dance. Now, this dance is one of the traditional dances in Myanmar, called the marionette dance.After she had carried that big lump of a thing behind her back to the center of the stage, she started to dance. The dress looks amazing and she looks amazing. The prop also looks amazing. I forgot to mention how there was also a surprise factor to this prop. The red curtain was at first shut and it was only after she placed the prop down, when she pulled one of the strings, that the curtain opened wide to show the background of Myanmar scenic painting behind her.

Emotion 5: Patriotism

I hate to sound as if I’m exaggerating but at this point, I was just so euphorically patriotic. I have always been a fair watcher when it comes to contest among different countries but this time round, I just felt so much appreciation for my own country. At this point, other countries meant nothing. And I did mention strings just now. There was a set of string she pulled to reveal the background but there was also a set of strings on top of her, attached to her limbs, that represent the strings of a marionette. If you ask me, I was really proud of her for not having tangled the strings. It was a huge risk factor since the backdrop she was carrying could have fallen and the strings could have gotten tangled but dear god, she has reached this far with so much success!

Emotion 6: Scared

After dancing a bit, she carried the backdrop on her back again and she turned away from the crowd. Now, I do not know how this comes across to other people but having worked on stage before, I do know how it means a lot to performers or any people on the stage to not show any flaws. By any flaws, I am referring to the back of the props. Now, given the prop was this huge backdrop, I imagined the back of this prop to be made of wood. I was hoping it would be painted or just covered with the velvet curtain and as she turned around, I was so scared that it would show the backside of a prop.

Emotion 7: Proud

It was when she turned around and revealed this painting of a dancing marionette that I felt so relieved and so proud of her. The costume concept was perfect. It was maneuvered without any flaws. It was handled with so much surprises and it was just delivered with so much perfection. To me, it was just flawless, neat, meaningful and just something that I am so proud of.

Fickle Mojo

Having drunk a bit last night and today, being a day off, I found myself waking up to one of the laziest mornings of gloomy Sydney. I’ve been pretty good with controlling the amount of drinks I drink the night before and there was no sight of a hang over this morning. But that did not keep me active and alive on this Australian day. Laying lazy on my bed with my iPhone in my hand, it’s only natural that I started to cruise on Grindr.

Call it luck but it did not take me long enough to find someone who was keen to come over my place. He was quite mature agewise, 51, but he did not look as old. He was only around 5’7″ but he was fit. He does not stay around this neighborhood, which means there is no trace of potential clinging onto for second rounds or more. So, it was all quite safe to let him come over for a hook up.

Yes, it’s true I have always wanted a consistent friend with benefit, a regular one at that. But at times, there are also those “can do”s who I could only imagine doing for one time. I am not ageist but this guy and I had barely anything to talk about and we just jumped to discussing about meeting up right away. It also helps that he does not live around my neighborhood, which means it will not be as convenient after hooking up today.

I was already up and getting ready for this hook up, when suddenly I did not want to meet him anymore. I do not know what stopped me from wanting to meet up with him. As we were chatting, he mentioned something about wanting to take a shower at my place. Normally, I do not mind my regular buddies taking a shower before a hook up but this was our first time meeting and for some reason, I was not comfortable with the fact that he was going to be taking a shower at my place. But then again, I would not have minded given I rather he showered than not. It was not for this reason that I did not want to go on with this.

jan26I do not know what it was but I just lost interest. It’s funny cos there I was, with someone who wanted to come over to my place to give me pleasure, and after agreeing at first, I just did not want to anymore. Then, I started thinking about excuses. I started to think about all possible reasons I could give him for cancelling him to come over.

“My dog is sick” Well, that felt like a total lie since I do not have any pets, let alone a sick dog in my unit. What if he ended up coming in the end, only to find out I do not have a dog. “My mom is sick”. That is impossible since he already knew none of my family members are in Sydney and I find it a bit of a taboo to lie about someone you love being sick. “My flatmate is sick” Nah, that isn’t good either because I did not want to put him into the excise. “My flatmate’s mom is sick”. Nope, can’t do since it was last week that my flatmate’s mom was in the hospital. “my flatmate’s brother is sick”. Wait, he does have a brother and I do not want to say something inappropriate about his existing family member.

“My flatmate’s sister is sick and I have to accompany my flatmat to go to his sister’s place”

I feel a bit bad but he did believe me and I stopped chatting to him. I do not know what it is but I swear to God sometimes, our mojo has a mind of its own. It would be craving for so much sex at one point and fickle as they can be, it changes its mind to not want to do it anymore. Fickle much, my mojo?

Serial Pick-Up Hunter

jan25-1It has been a while since I last went to Oxford Street, especially to those gay venues as part of my social life. Pubs and clubs on Oxford Street used to be my Friday ‘to go to’s but it has been a while since I last went to them. Mainly because I do not have any reasons to and it’s getting a bit too repetitive anyways. But, once in a while, it ain’t bad. Especially on a week day night before a holiday.

Tomorrow being an Australian Day, I was more than excited to go out tonight since it has been a while since I have last gone out. Two of my close friends came with me and it felt great to be out with them once again. So, once again, we were all at Stonewall, my favorite gay pub in Sydney. Well, I do like the other ones too but I seem to go to Stonewall a lot more than the others.

So, it was a malebox night at Stonewall. If you do not know what a malebox is, it’s when people coming in the pub needs to take a sticker each, that has numbers on it ans stick it on them. There are empty papers around the pubs, with pen. What you can do is to write a message to your favorite number. There’s a “to”, which is the number of the guy you want to pass your message to and a “from”, which is your number. I am not so sure if anyone takes it seriously but my friend and I ended up writing really bad one liners to random numbers.

I met RBF (Resting Bitch Face) there at Stonewall. RBF and I go way back. During my uni years in Sydney, I would always see him in clubs or pubs. He’s around six years older than me and he and I would always flirt but we have never picked up before. With a resting bitch face, I would feel a bit scared to communicate with him. Upon coming back here, I bumped into him and I’ve chatted to him on Grindr. It so turned out that he was into me and we decided we should meet up for sex at some point. I thought tonight could have been the night but something really turned me off about him tonight.

As I’ve mentioned, I was there with two friends. One had 711 as his number and the other one had another number, which I’ve forgotten. The other friend and I started writing a message for 711 just to tease him. With a number like that, it was just too easy to come up with something cheeky. “Can your legs stay open twenty four hours a day?” Too easy!

Oh! I’ve forgotten to mention how these messages are retrieved. These messages are placed inside this red mailbox on the stage at the corner of the pub where drag queens usually perform. The staffs in the pub would take round collecting these messages and upon retrieving them, they would write down these numbers and these numbers will be shown on the huge TV screen in the middle of the pub. If you see your number, you can go take the messages addressed to you.

The number 711 appeared twice on the screen. My other friend and I were sure one of them was ours and we were really curious about the other message. Funnily and ironically enough, none of them was from us. One of them was from some number (my 711 friend was getting lucky tonight I guess) and the other one was from a number I know of and it was from RBF.

I do not have any jealous bones in my body and I do not own RBF to be able to stop him from perving at others. However, the whole night, RBF has been rubbing my ass and groping my crotch and pressing me towards him, to which I did not mind; there was even one point where I thought I would get lucky with him tonight. So, when I found out that one of these messages was from RBF, I felt a bit disgusted.

Correct me if I’m wrong but I do not want to go home with a guy who’s been groping me all night, only to find out he’s been simultaneously sending ‘pick up’ messages to the friend I came to the bar with. If he had not been groping me or giving me signals, I would not have minded if RBF has sent my 711 the message. But yeah, I lost interest and I did not want to go home with him anymore.

I lost RBF halfway through the night and he wrote to me on Grindr “Thanks” and “whatever”. I do not know what those two were for. I asked him if he was ok, to which he said yes. So, giving the benefit of the doubt, I dodged continuing the chat and just ignored him. Now, I’m not even too sure I would go home with RBF in the future.