Molly & Me

I know this might not come across as something I should be sharing with everyone of you readers as if it’s a good thing but it’s just something to put into record. I’m not that much of a risker but that has not stopped me from having that ‘I would try everything once’ attitude. Apart from stupid things like phone game apps or toy collection, I am not that much of an addictive person.

Having my trusted friend with me on a Friday night tonight, I decided to pop some pills with him. I have never done any pills before in my life. Well, I’ve done the one where my friend melt over a spoon to smoke it with a bong which does not allow me to sleep; like I’ve said, it didn’t get me addicted either. Did it once and that was it. So, getting back to today, I just wanna find out what it’s like to feel like these other pill poppers in clubs. It seems like there is this trend for this new culture of people who likes to enjoy bopping their heads in EDM festivals with some chemicals inside of them.

Without checking what it was, I just trusted my friend while he and I both popped a pill each before we entered the gay club, Arq. Another thing about me and drugs/pills is how it does not really affect me much, apart from LSD, although I have to admit I was still myself even on that. So, when I did weed with my buddies in Myanmar, they would be laughing their asses off. I would be laughing at some point but the most non-common thing that I had ever done on weed was converse non-step about how science is proportional to religion and stuffs like that.

It was a great night actually but the effect was not that noticeable. I did notice I was dancing so much. Kept dancing and dancing. I was friendlier to people. I had more confidence in approaching people but this was not really unlike me since I am a social person. But it was more like I did not give a fuck about what others think. I was dancing with others and for some reason, the other people seems so friendly and the music was just so good. I had no idea what they were playing but it felt good and I was just so on top there. I kept drinking and drinking with my friend and it felt like one of those ‘hot shot’ nights where everything just seemed so right.

But to be honest, I was aware of everything. It was not like I was drunk. I enjoyed every minute of it. I remembered most of it although I was pretty curious if there were any time that I was not myself and I had slipped to somewhere else without knowing. My friend told me I seemed just happy and fine. It was a good night and that’s all I remembered. If I had to pinpoint the bad thing about this was the fact that I chewed my inner cheeks a lot. I asked my friend what the game was and it was Molly!

Like I’ve said, I’m positively sure I will not get addicted and I would not stop anyone from doing it if only they would promise that this will not be a habit. It’s a risk to be honest. So, take it only if you can win over your mind like me. For me, it’s a tick off my bucket list and it’s nothing more. I might do it again but not on a regular basis or not enough to waste my life away.

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Kinky Heels

I am not so sure if it is a good thing or a bad thing but when I really like someone, I tend to be tune myself into anything they want me to do, sort of unsure about whether I like it or not. I once was asked if there was an animal that I resemble and it took me a while to realize that I would so be a chameleon if I was an animal. Why? Because I easily blend into the surrounding whenever I’m comfortable.

As weird and as unique as fetishes go, Mr747 has a fetish and his was kinda so unique. He’s into wearing heels and by ‘heels’, I mean girls high heels. He owns a pair and he told me how he would wear this at times when he was cleaning his room. And he also once mentioned tonight how he once wore this while having sex and the dude who was doing him was so turned on. I guess it’s the fact that I really like him that kinda shadow the fact that this was something I was too new to.

Once again, Mr747 and I met again and he invited me over to his place to watch Star Trek with him. Funnily enough, after a bit, he started wearing his fishnet underwear and showed me. He also added “I do not know why I am showing you this”. There was nothing wrong with the fish net underwear actually but then, he started wearing his lady’s high heels and the next thing I know, he was completely boning me with his heels on.

apr6It turned him on because he felt so comfortable with me being so cool with this. To be honest, I am not so sure if I am cool with this or as I have mentioned, I am just so in ‘like’ with him and it blinded me from the fact that I should be a bit weirded out by this. All in all, it was good sex and come to think of it, things have been escalating fast. He held my hands last night as we walked home and today, he had sex with me again.

 

Different Ball Game

It was a different ball game today with Mr747. As usual, we decided to meet for dinner after work and as usual, I was looking forward to this. It seems like we both cannot get enough of each other and it was just so nice to have someone so compatible. We went and had dinner at Jamie Oliver’s restaurant.

As usual, we decided to walk around a bit after our dinner. We walked through this University of Western Sydney and checked out some stuffs they put up on the wall. It was some woodwork decor which he was going on and on about it, to which I thought was adorable. Then, we both decided to sit down at the staircase of some office building, which was parallel to the train tracks. In front of us, we could see the trains whooshing past. Then, something happened. We held each other’s hands.

“I feel so comfortable with you. I like this feeling of being able to hold your hand” What can I say to this? I like it too. We both had one of those quiet moments as we held each others’ hands and watched the train passed by us at full speed. Then, he decided to walk me home. When we said goodbye, I could see that he was being a bit hesitant to leave. To this, I said “Here we go. I know you want to.” And I opened up my hands in a welcoming position for a hug, to which he hugged me tight. Then, we kissed a bit. And, as usual, he said “I should not do this”. I moved away. Then, at the point where it was both our cue to say goodbye and walk away, he was just standing there again. To this, I joked “I can read your mind that you still want to give me another hug”. I was not sure but he gave in and gave me another tight hugs.

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As he ran off into the darkness to his way home, I went back up feeling all happy about this completely turn of roles between us. I was not so sure to secure my feelings towards him but it does feel like we were progressing to becoming more than friends. So, I decided to give him this text.

Me: By the way, reality check. You can’t be scared of hurting others, mr. Cos it’s both ways. You can’t always blame yourself for that. To me, the real deal is not the result. It’s the journey. I’ll never force you but take my hand while it’s there.

Him: I know. But I value you too much already. So many have walked away. I want to be friends and then maybe develop that to more.

Me: You think I don’t value you? It aches that I can’t do what I please with you cos I’m worried I might go against your rule book. Though it’s cute it’s you who’s been breaking it.

Him : I know. And I always do that. I know you value me. But I overthink.

Me : So do I.

Him : Not on purpose.

Me : Same here. I have little tiny voices saying stuffs.

Him : Just me.

Me : I respect that.

Him : Being kind of guarded is me.

Me : I understand. Being scared to make a mistake to lose you forever is me. That’s me overthinking.

Him : We’re so the smae.

Like I said, it’s a completely different ball game!

Push Before The Shove

No matter how nerve-wrecking it seems, I have been waiting for today. It’s the day that I would get to meet Mr747‘s housemate and his housemate’s boyfriend. It’s not because I wanted to desperately meet them but it’s just nice that Mr747 seems to be comfortable with inviting me over to some event he normally shares with his friend. Yes, I cannot help myself. As much as I do not want to go around in circles imagining things in my head with this imaginary possibility that we can somehow be more than friends one day, life with Mr747 seems such a big deal in my life at this moment.

It’s plain to see that I like Mr747 but I do have to tell myself again and again that there are no obvious symptoms that would lead both of us to share something more than a friend. By that, I do not mean we would have to be boyfriends or partners right away. I was referring more to a date that can blossom between us. What happens afterwards depends but it’s always there, that thought in my head, that we are somehow more than just friends.

I reached to the bar where we were all meeting up for trivia first. Mr747 finally got there with this really young guy with him. For one second, I was a bit jealous and a bit intimidated. It was only after that one second that I remember he would be coming with his flatmate and his flatmate’s boyfriend. Please let this be one of them. Please let this be one of them. And hopefully not someone who is a plus one from his end. After the introduction, I was relieved to find out that it was his flatmate’s boyfriend. You can’t blame me there. For all I know, I thought his flatmate and his flatmate’s boyfriend would have come together at the same time.

Later, his flatmate joined us and we started our trivia. At first, Mr747 was going to sit near his flatmate’s boyfriend and I would face him I guess. But the flatmate’s boyfriend told him how he would prefer sitting with his boyfriend, which means both Mr747 and I would be sitting together. It was a bench and halfway through the trivia, I started to poke Mr747 from under the table. He kept saying ‘don’t do it’ in a joking way but then he would keep poking me back with his finger as well. Then we would just be skin to skin. It was a cheeky tease between the two of us. I really enjoyed it because it was just fun and kinda cute that he responded to me as well.

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The trivia went well I guess and I have to admit, his flatmate and his flatmate’s boyfriend weren’t that bad. They seem to be decent guys and it was yet another great night with Mr747.

Friend On The Fence

apr3It’s one thing to be at the other end of the fence and it takes me a while to realize how things can be different if you are making things up in your head. I read somewhere once that at times we do not really know what is really there since all of us have different perspectives towards the same thing. In the end, it does not really matter what is right or wrong, when things can be seen in so many different perspectives from different point of views.

There is this one guy at work. He’s actually really cute and I would not hesitate to have a go at him if only he plays in the same team as me, and of course if he is interested in me. I do not really think he plays on the same team as me but he seems super friendly and we always catch each other’s glances. Maybe it’s the way I stare but it’s not really such a surprise that I have had straight guys stare at me. I’m sure it’s not because I look awesome or if I have something stuck in my teeth. I think it’s probably because of the way I would subconsciously stare at them.

So, while taking my break in the kitchen at work, this dude at work just happened to come in. And he started talking. We introduced each other. This is something very wrong, yet right, about people in Australia. They are just so nice to each other you can hardly tell who’s straight or gay. Back in my country, it takes a lot of men to warm up to each other and it’s often gay men that would warm up faster. Even then, there would be some other gay men who would take forever to mingle.

Him being all friendly to me somewhat made me think that there is a small chance that he might be gay. We talked for a while and of course, loving attention, I found it quite fun and nice to be able to converse with him. This could be my new friend at work. New friend I might have a chance to sleep with since he was a cutie. And there, it caught me with a thought.

I am not so sure if this guy is gay but let’s just say he is, hypothetically. If he was gay, let’s just say he was actually flirting with me. Would I stop him? No. Would I continue the flirt and even throw some cheeky liners his way? Yes. Would I sleep with him? Yes. Do I like him enough to actually chase him for something more than friends? Not at all!

Then, it hit me there what if Mr747 could have been this way with me. We slept? Yes. We had sex? Yes. We enjoyed each other’s company? yes. We flirt? Yes. But, regardless, this does not always necessarily mean that he is into me for something more than a friend, doesn’t it? It’s not like I am hoping Mr747 will be into me but I cannot hide the fact that I really like him and I would like to get to know him more than just being his friend. In fact, it would be good if we could own each other one day.

So, reality bites! As much as I can daydream about how each and everything that happens between me and Mr747 sparks some potentials between us, it’s not so certain unless I can get myself into his head to figure out how he is looking at things around him. Don’t get me wrong. For all I know, the dude at work might not even be gay and even if he was, I will never be sure if he is into me. And for all I know, I do not even know if I might end up liking Mr747 as someone more than just friends. So, there is no assumption here but it’s funny how our perspectives, when unmatched, can be amazingly suitable for both point of views, yet so different!

Heiny’s Day Out

Things did not end there yesterday. As I have mentioned before, Mr747 and I were to meet up for lunch. After my medical check up yesterday, I texted him with no expectations. I mean, it’s one thing to plan something ahead but given we broke all of his rules the night before, I was not sure if he would still want to meet up with me for anything, be it breakfast or lunch.

When I texted him, Mr747 was about to go to a house inspection in Lane Cove. At first, he asked me if I wanted to come but knowing it would take me an hour to get to him and since he had to go for inspection at that time when I texted, we decided to meet up only after that. It was sweet that he insisted on picking me up from my place to go to house inspection together with me. So, the plan was to meet up at Lane Cove. By the time I get there, he would be finished with his house inspection and we could meet for lunch.

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View from Waverton

When I got to the city, which was like a 20 minutes bus ride from Lane Cove, he was done with inspection and he decided to come pick me up at where I was. Then, we both went to this place I had never been called Waverton. We had coffee at that suburb and after a few coffee, we walked around. It was a bit of a last minute hike at some sight that used to be a coal mine. If I had not mentioned it earlier in my blog, Mr747 is one of those people who never stays still and he would be trotting from one place to another. To him, this was pleasure. To me, it was tiring but not as tiring since I was enjoying my time with him.

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the coal mine tunnel

After our little trip around the coal mine sight, we went to another house inspection. We were met up by a real estate agent and Mr747 just took me while he looked around this place, which could potentially be his future home. I am not really imagining or expecting things but we both sure looked like a couple looking for a place together to stay together in. It was either a couple or two housemates but we both looked like as if we were moving in together.

Then, we decided to go home and he took me home. The way home was quite interesting actually since I started to play around with his car stereo and checked out the songs he had. I knew most of the songs he has on his playlist. To me, this is just another semi music quiz since I love almost any types of music but to him, he was happy that I knew most of the songs that he knows.  We started to sing together to his playlist on the way home and we had a Thelma and Louise moment as he drove home.

He actually drove to his place and we decided to go have some beer. We went to this bar near the riverside and had some beer. Then, he went back home for dinner and I went back to mine.

We chatted the whole day today even though we did not meet. Out of nowhere during our chat, he asked me if I wanted to come with him to Trivia with his housemate. Well, I still do not know what’s happening here as much as I do enjoy spending time with him, but I will be meeting up with his housemate on Tuesday. Honestly, I am a bit nervous about it.

It’s a bit confusing because Mr747 and I are just friends but we both have been very couply in the past few days. Having learnt from experience, I just tried not to think much about it and just to enjoy my time with him. Just because I had a great weekend with someone does not necessarily means that we are going through stages. But I cannot help really craving for his company again. And according to what one of my closest friends, Amore, said, “Give him best moments he’ll remember you by when you are with him” and I guess that’s what I am to do.

747 Touch Down

When push comes to shove, it escalates to an extreme with Mr747. So, finally we met up again last night. Instead of going out for drinks, we decided to go over to his place for wine. We drank wine at the balcony and as per usual, we talked about anything, while one topic clicks from one random to another. He opened a bottle of wine while he puts his favorite song “Go West” by Pet Shop Boys in the background. On the other hand, he started to show me his side-hobby, where he is trying to work on setting up room lighting with censor switches controllable from his handphone.

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It was when we started watching TV on his huge couch that we started to get cozy. The next thing we know, I was in his arms beside him, cuddling and snuggling up while we watched funny Youtube videos. While we were snuggled up, he said “I feel so comfortable with you. I don’t know why”. There were times where our face would get closer. Close enough to kiss but he would stop himself and say “I won’t do it”. I assured him it’s ok and there is no need to feel uncomfortable about it.

Mr747 also started mentioning about how he would think a lot before he ruins the moments with others because they would just leave the next day and they would not return. I told him I was going nowhere. I don’t know. It was pure comfort with no expectations. I was just feeling so comfortable with him and I am just enjoying every second of this night with him.

After a Monty Python and a few youtube clips, he asked if I wanted to sleep over. I didn’t mind. Then, afterwards, he mentioned something about having breakfast together the next morning. Knowing I had to go to medical check up this morning, I told him I would settle for lunch. We retired to his bed and I noticed that he started to fart. Ok, we were not on a date and this was the first time we were together in his bed. It was not gross and it was not stinky actually but we both laughed at him farting and he said “I don’t know why I did that but I feel so comfortable with you”

Back in his room, at first he was in his boxers. I was in my T shirt and boxer brief. Then, he asked me if I sleep in my T shirt. I said ‘not really’. I stripped. Then we started to cuddle a bit. By this time, we were almost spooning each other. Then, he asked me if I sleep in boxers. Not sure why but when I said ‘sometimes’, he reached for one of his boxers and both of us cuddled next in our boxers. It was about five minutes later that he decided to sleep naked with me. The next thing we knew, we were spooning each other nude.

Just like he was in the living room, he started to warm up to me but whenever his face got near my face, he would say “No. I am not going to do it”. I didn’t force him and I went with his flow but before we knew it, it escalated to a full make out. While we made out, he said “Do not expect anything, ok? We will not have sex”. Sure, I assured him. After pashing for some time, both of us fell asleep with his arm around me and me asleep in his arms.

It was 4 am when we both woke up out of nowhere. We were in our morning breath. For some reason, we started making out again and before I knew what was going on, both of us hit third base and then out of nowhere, the next thing I knew was him grabbing for his box of condoms. We hit homerun. I was pretty sure he had mentioned about him bottoming for other guys before and out of nowhere, he had become the top in this situation. Kinda works for a complete bottom like me. I can’t complain. I will not go into details but all I can say is even though he is not a good kisser, sex was good and I had fun. Maybe it was the intimacy we both built as well.

It was 6 am when we finished. I decided to go home since I had to get ready for my medical check up anyways. As I was dressing up, he asked me if I wanted him to drive me back home. It was a nice gesture. I mean, it was 6 am and who would, in his right mind, be awake enough to send someone he just had sex with home. Full of intrigue and with a head full of questions, I kissed him goodbye as I got off at my place.

I do not know what it is and I do not like to think what it is but I liked it and I don’t want to ruin it!

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